The Fabric of a Coach’s Wife
You think you know a coach’s wife?
Got a picture in your mind?
Well throw it out and open wide
There’s not one shape and size.
We come from every background
Every race and kind and creed
Don’t put us in some pre-cut box
That’s not what women need.
We are tall and we are small
Professionals and stay-at-home
Our dudes have hair or maybe not
Those beautiful balding domes.
Lithe and thin and perfectly groomed
And next to her in the stands
Is her beautiful sister with curves for days
One size fits all Hot Hands
And then there is the on-time wife
In place before the game
She has snacks and kid play packs
A bag embroidered with her name
And hot mess wife never on time
She gets there when she can
“Will you watch my purse for just a sec?”
“Still got one kid in the van.”
And Sally who sits quietly
And Linda whose mouth runs
And Paula who is super polite
And Deena who’s all fun
You’ll find us sitting everywhere
Nervous hearts and wringing hands
Here’s to you sitting on the 50
Here’s to hiding in the visitor’s stands
And that wife who you almost never see
She’ll thank you very much
To check your sass and your season pass
This is working just fine for us
And don’t you dare judge our commitment
By the size of our crockpot
Sometimes we cook and feed ‘dem boys
Sometimes Dominos is all we got.
And oh that man she loves him so
In those track pants he’s on fire
Love of my life…wait, what is this?!
Why are there turf pellets in my dryer?!
On long late nights sometimes all we have
When we lay in that empty bed
Is to feel for a pillow with that tiny dent
Where for a moment he laid his head
Some stay for years in one small town
And watch him love those kids
Or pack up boxes and move again
We lose our Tupperware lids
Rmember this life isn’t easy
Certainly not for money or fame
You do you girl, make the rules you need
When you’re married to the game
So, chuck those expectations
A coach’s wife she has no mold
Just love that man and love those kids
Love Jesus and grow old.
Live in your unique freedom
To survive this crazy life
Feel free to break the mold my friend
You are a coach’s wife.
Ladies, I love us. How different we are. How we all manage the insanity differently. And the things that make us one. There is no one way to be a coach’s wife, a coaching family, or to approach this world of sport in the “right” way. We are all doing our best and I needed you to know … you are a wonderful coach’s wife.
Anne is an author, speaker, professional counselor, marriage and family therapist and veteran coaches wife. She and her husband Tim have two children and they have been a coaching family through a state championship run and very difficult losing seasons. They are passionate about encouraging coaching families both in and out of season.