Life is busy. You’re always going to have a To-Do list a mile long. There will always be practices and games and recitals and meets and tutoring that you’re rushing to and from. Many days you feel like you’re running behind, like your chasing wind.
But during season. Good gosh. The busyness of season is a whole ‘nother level of busy.
Throw in the minor inconveniences of feeding the people and keeping the house from looking like a war zone, and all of the sudden you find yourself drinking a couple (or a few?) glasses of pinot with tears streaming down your face screaming, “I’M JUST ONE WOMAN!” in the middle of carline. Just kidding. You’re at home.
So we asked the ladies of the FNW Facebook group for tips. How do they keep from losing their minds during season? What are ways they keep from getting overwhelmed and stressed out?
Obviously, what relaxes us is going to vary based on our personalities. Some of us will get energy from a girls’ night, while others of us will get energy from a bubble bath. But here are a few ideas that have helped us. Hopefully, you’ll find one or two that help you too.
Say no and be unapologetic about it.
Don’t do any more than you have to. It’s okay to say no to volunteering and taking meals and coaching teams and teaching classes. Don’t feel bad. It’s only for a few months, and after that you’ll be back in action as World’s Best Volunteer.
Don’t let your quiet time suffer.
When life gets crazy, usually the first thing to go is our one-on-one time with God. But that’s the precise time we need to be more intentional about carving out a few minutes to just be still. God will multiply our time if we give him a portion of it. Whether it be listening to worship music in the car, praying in the shower, or listening to the bible app while folding laundry, find a moment in your day to connect with him.
Ask for help.
Don’t be too proud — it doesn’t mean you’re weak, it just means you’re not God. Trade babysitting with another coach’s wife. That way y’all can both get stuff done kid-free fo-free. If there’s not another wife interested, find someone to watch the kids every now and then just for an hour or two so you can go to the grocery store. Or take a nap in your car.
Find a gym.
Get those endorphins pumping girl. Exercise is one of the best ways to beat the blues, while also giving you something that is yours and makes you feel good about yourself. Also, some offer up to two free hours of childcare. Workout for one hour, then take a shower, get dressed, and read a book for hour two.
Pay someone to clean your house.
Most of us are on a pretty tight budget. But if there is any wiggle room, this is a lifesaver … and a marriage-saver. One less thing to worry about? Yes, please.
Claim your bye weekend in advance.
Make sure you dedicate this weekend to reconnecting with your coach. Have a discussion at the beginning of the season, so everyone’s expectations are clear and no one gets their feelings hurt when plans are made.
Find an activity with free childcare.
Almost every town will have at least one church that offers a women’s bible study with childcare. Call around. If you can’t find one, check the Bible Study Fellowship website to see if they offer a class in your area. Having one morning a week devoted to connecting with other women WITHOUT YOUR KIDS will do wonders for your sanity.
Find an outlet.
Find a hobby, a passion, a pursuit, a show on Netflix, anything that will make you thankful for the time your husband is gone as opposed to resentful. Instead of sitting at home mad he’s not there, find something to take up that time that feeds your soul (even if it is “This is Us”). One wife even said she finds a marathon or half-marathon to train for every season.
Invest in a community.
The most accessible would be the other coaches’ wives. Sit with them at games, have girls’ nights on out-of-town JV nights, start a “Reach” study, invite them over for playdates; just get to know them. If this isn’t an option, find a MOPS group, a Life Group, a class at church. But don’t isolate yourself. You are created for community.
Give yourself grace.
After you pick up dinner for the third night in a row, after you raise your voice at bedtime … again, after you forget to sign that form in his folder, after you get in bed with a sink full of dirty dishes — GIVE YOURSELF GRACE and pray that God fills those spaces you are lacking. Your family doesn’t expect you to be perfect, so stop expecting perfection from yourself.
If you are in search of support and community, we’d love to have you join the Friday Night Wives Facebook group for coaches’ wives.