There are endless ways to be a supportive wife of a coach. It will look different for every husband as to what makes him feel most loved and supported in his profession. However, here are a few practical ways I’ve learned to support my husband as a coach.
Listen to Him
We’ve all been there. Your husband comes home clearly frustrated, or you saw him after a game and can tell he’s not okay. One of the best ways to support your husband in these situations is to simply be a listening ear. In a profession where EVERYONE has opinions or advice on what you should/shouldn’t do (even within your own team and coaching staff), it will most likely mean the world to your husband to know you are there to listen to him in his frustrations.
I personally have made the mistake of trying to correct my husband in a time where he was needing to share what was in his head. As you can imagine, this did not help his frustrations. He already felt discouraged with people not on his side, and he needed to know I was on his team.
You know your husband. Some husbands process by talking out loud and others (like my husband) process in their head first before they are ready to talk. Bottom line, letting him know you’re there to listen whenever he needs someone to talk to is a priceless way to offer support.
Check Your Attitude
This one is huge and may be the most difficult because it’s often a conscious decision you have to make when everything in you wants the opposite.
This past season God really opened my eyes to see how much of a gift to my husband a good attitude can be. We had our second baby right smack dab in the middle of football season. My husband had to leave the hospital (the day after our daughter was born) to go coach in a game on Friday night. I saw how incredibly difficult it was for him to have to leave us there.
I had only ever considered how this would make me feel. I saw that by not guilting him about leaving us and reassuring him we were okay, it made it a little easier on him to go.
There are hundreds of opportunities as coaches’ wives to choose a good attitude about whatever is coming up. It could be him arriving home later than you expected, an event he forgot to tell you about, an added scrimmage or picked up game, or finding out he has to work when you thought he had off that day. The scenarios are endless, but the opportunity is the same. What will your attitude be?
Check Your Words
Words are powerful. Honestly, they can make or break a marriage. We each daily have the opportunity to choose words that build our husbands up or words that will tear him down.
Look for one thing you can share with him every day that will encourage him. Just saying the words “I’m so proud of you” will more than likely be all he needs to hear.
Again, in the coaching profession, helpful and encouraging words can be hard to come by. But not so from you! Support your coach in always having a word that will build him back up when the world has torn him down.
Meet Practical Needs
There are so, so many different ways to do this as a coach’s wife. The practical needs are all around us and you certainly can’t do everything, but think about a few things you can do to bless your husband.
One super practical way I serve my husband is by making sure his drawers are full of clean underwear and socks. I know this sounds small, but in coaching it always seems my husband is in a hurry to pack a bag for practice or a game. This is one way I can support him so he’s not rushing around looking for those things when he really needs to get out the door.
This perspective brings a new purpose to the mounds of laundry a coach quickly accumulates. Even the smallest or most mundane of tasks can be ways to love and support your husband. I pray that those drawers of clean socks and underwear communicate to him that I love and care about him. I’m sure you’re already meeting thousands of your husbands needs, but remember that this is speaking louder to him than we often think it is.
Pray for Him
Marriage can be hard. Add in the coaching life, and it can sometimes take those normal marriage issues to a new level of difficulty. The sheer fact of little time together in the middle of a season can raise frustrations with each other. Therefore, praying for him is crucial to supporting him.
Tell him that you are praying for him, or even pray over him before you go to bed. When I pray for my husband, especially when I’m not in a good place about the really hard parts of being a coach’s wife, God often changes me first, and that’s usually what I need anyways.
Proverbs 14:1 says, “The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.” I pray each of you will be wise women building their homes. Praise God for forgiveness when we fail and grace to start again.