Positive affirmations have become very popular lately. They are simple statements that declare something to be true. A person repeats the statement to themselves along with a description of how they want to be. In doing so, the person challenges and/or eliminates unhelpful thoughts that could be holding them back in an area of their life.
For example, if we see something negatively we may have a difficult time using our gifts effectively.
Whether it’s just the beginning of the season, somewhere in the middle, or even if you’re in your “off season,” being a coach’s wife can be draining. The expectations from others and seemingly endless time alone can take their toll.
So I’ve created a list for coaches’ wives (one I use myself!).
In just a few minutes a day, I hope these affirmations help you change the way you think and feel about this life.
1) I make plans but I remain open to sudden changes.
One of the only consistent things about this life is that we never how long we will be somewhere and when/where a change will take us. It’s hard to live a life where you’re trying to plant roots but have to be mobile enough to move on very short notice.
It also would help for the smaller inconveniences, like when coach says he’ll “be home in 15” or he’ll “definitely be able to attend that event with you,” but we all know it never happens. This is easier said than done but makes this life more manageable when mastered.
2) I will remain calm.
Whether it’s the bleacher coaches, your own children, the job that is driving you nuts, or all of the above, take deep breaths and repeat this phrase.
You can not lose it even if you’ve been going nonstop for weeks or months at a time without a break or much help from coach.
Most people don’t realize the number of additional responsibilities that are placed on our shoulders in order for coach to do his job. So, they might not understand or be very forgiving it if you reach your breaking point on them.
3) I reject negativity.
When fans or parents say mean things, like why would coach run that play, or he should have put in a different player or something much worse in the stands or on social media, you will not take it in or internalize it.
Do not allow it in your personal space. Change seats, delete the apps, or unfriend in real life if that’s what it takes to not attract negativity.
4) I am free of unwanted stress.
Please, let me know if this one actually works for anyone.
5) I won’t let comparison ruin my time.
Most of us want to be the perfect coach’s wife, but we are all in different stages and life circumstances.
Just because you see another wife on staff or on social media making cookies or calling all the players by their first names, doesn’t make her more of a coach’s wife than you.
We are all different and that’s what makes us great. And anyone who isn’t a coach wife isn’t even on the same playing field, so it wouldn’t be fair to compare your life to hers.
6) I will not worry about things I can’t control.
This is another one of those “easier said than done” statements. Worrying about what a loss will do or how a rumor of a staff change will affect your family is legitimate.
But the nature of this life is a lack of control. Focus on your day-to-day and hold loosely to future plans. But know that whatever happens, you will survive it.
7) I do enough.
You don’t need to do all the things. Also, see the comparison explanation.
8) I am strong enough.
Coaches’ wives are put through the wringer and asked to make a lot of sacrifices. We carry the extra load and stand in the background keeping the children quiet and on their best behavior. Do not underestimate yourself. You’ve been through a lot and are capable of anything. You are strong enough to handle whatever this life throws at you.
And remember, if all these affirmations fail, locking yourself in the bathroom so no one can find you, even only for 5 minutes, often helps temporarily. Or so I hear….