Anne Rulo, Author at Friday Night Wives

Help for the Wife Filled with In-Season Fear and Anxiety

It wasn’t that bad early in his career. But, several years ago we went through a couple of tough seasons and were (ahem) “not rehired.” That event took a toll on me I never would have anticipated. Now, I have to be very intentional about managing fear and anxiety during the season – even if the ...

Family, Journal, Resources

When (Not If) Sports and Mental Health Collide

These are stories we hear every year — Coaches developing chronic panic attacks. Players suffering from depression or anxiety. Coaches becoming physically ill due to mental distress. Coaches and players struggling to navigate online criticism.

Faith, Family, Journal

If Football Season Doesn’t Happen

And, while sports are certainly minor in comparison to keeping the world safe, the pain we may encounter still matters. It matters very much.

Journal

Weird Stuff Coaches Do, According to Their Wives

Keep at least a three foot radius clear around coach any time he has a whistle. It is in his DNA twirl it repeatedly around his fingers. Extra caution should be taken if he also has his many, many school keys.

Journal, Resources

The End-of-Season Debriefing Practice and How to Do It

We wanted an intentional way for our boys to process the experiences and emotions of the season rather than “just” having them turn in their equipment and move on to the next thing.

Family, Journal

Hey Girl, Stop “Should”ing All Over Yourself

The trouble we get into is thinking that where we “should” sit has anything to do with anything other than you and your family.

Journal

In Defense of “The Parents”: a Reminder for the Coaching Family

Remember that we coach in their sacred spaces. We are coaching the people they have loved, raised, cried, and prayed over long before we got them. For some, we are coaching their validation of self. I’m not making excuses for poor behavior, I’m offering a space for us to gather some empathy for ...

Family, Journal, Marriage

Sometimes It Only Looks Good on the Napkin

We cannot let the perfect be the enemy of the done. We cannot sacrifice our sanity by trying to run plays that just don’t work with our current personnel, life stage or needs. So don’t try. Sometimes you just have to wad those things up, toss them away and draw up something new.

Family, Journal, Marriage

Things Would Still Be Hard Even If You Weren’t a Coaching Family. Because Life is Hard.

I’m not minimizing the stressors of the coaching life. They are real and they can be unique and overwhelming. What I am saying is that pointing at coaching as the blanket scapegoat for everything challenging that happens during the season can put our hearts in a dangerous spot.

Journal, Marriage

It’s Okay to be Okay When Coaching is Not

But what I am not going to do is shut down my life and let the ride of coaching dictate my emotional state completely. Because that is not good for anyone. It’s not good for me. It’s not good for my kids. And believe it or not, it’s not good for coach.

Journal

When You Lose a Player

My professional training is as a mental health therapist so I assume that is why we have received quite a few of these phone calls from coaching colleagues over the years. Through our own difficult experiences and those of others, I am hopeful that I may be able to share some tips here that can ...

Journal, Marriage

Love Languages (Coaching Style)

When we are better for each other we are better for our families, our children, and the athletes and communities we serve. It’s a pretty good investment that can pump out an exponential return.

Anne Rulo

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