Author: Anne Rulo

Anne is an author, speaker, professional counselor, marriage and family therapist and veteran coaches wife. She and her husband Tim have two children and they have been a coaching family through a state championship run and very difficult losing seasons. They are passionate about encouraging coaching families both in and out of season.

April 6, 2021

When a Coach Gets Married, Here are What the Vows SHOULD Be

I, Mr. Coach, promise to:

Recognize that this woman is an actual superhero and treat her as such
When she is sad just hold her, don’t coach her
Make a valiant effort to not wait until the last minute to ask for something
Brag about her to my friends
Get her swag asap, especially at a new school
In a spare moment, keep the kids and send her out on her own
Remember that she is the one who is still there when the lights go out and the career is done
Love on my kids after wins AND losses
Consider that your career moves are her moves too
Find her before talking to the media
Recognize that I am a better coach because she is by my side

April 5, 2021

A Prayer for the Wife Who is Moving

Yes, we are moving Lord, but You are already there, just as You are here. It is such a comfort that we cannot escape the cover of Your love, no matter how far we move.

March 23, 2021

Weird Stuff Coaches Do, According to Their Wives

Keep at least a three foot radius clear around coach any time he has a whistle. It is in his DNA twirl it repeatedly around his fingers. Extra caution should be taken if he also has his many, many school keys.

March 3, 2021

To All the Coaches I’ve Loved Before

The sight that met me inside those doors was one I will never forget—and one I have not stopped loving since. There they were, a sea of men. Old and young, many with excellent beards, all of them wearing football apparel.

February 18, 2021

To the Wife Moving (Again)—From a Wife Moving (Again)

You, and me, and thousands of coaches’ wives all over this country are in this together. Knowing we are done where we are, possibly unsure of where we are headed, but all collectively grieving, trying not to worry, and praying.

February 11, 2021

Sex & the Coaching Life: 8 Ways to Spice Things Up

That said, a healthy sex life can look extremely different for different poeple. We heard from plenty of wives who are multiple-times-a-weekers. But, there are also plenty of couples who are once-a-weekers, once-a-monthers, or sex-less-marriagers (yep, that’s a thing).

December 1, 2020

Coaching Won’t Last Forever—And That’s Okay

“In track, there are all types of runners. There are sprinters. There are middle-distance runners. And, there are long-distance runners. Brother Roger was a middle-distance runner. His job was to do well in the time that he was given. And he did.”

September 15, 2020

You, Sweet Wife, are the Pacesetter—Without you, He Won’t Finish the Race

Because they love those kids and they love their jobs, they sometimes get going so fast they can’t keep up―and that’s where the pacesetter becomes valuable. For many families, that pacesetter is you.

September 14, 2020

Help for the Wife Filled with In-Season Fear and Anxiety

It wasn’t that bad early in his career. But, several years ago we went through a couple of tough seasons and were (ahem) “not rehired.” That event took a toll on me I never would have anticipated. Now, I have to be very intentional about managing fear and anxiety during the season – even if the season is going well.

August 24, 2020

When (Not If) Sports and Mental Health Collide

These are stories we hear every year —
Coaches developing chronic panic attacks. Players suffering from depression or anxiety. Coaches becoming physically ill due to mental distress. Coaches and players struggling to navigate online criticism.

May 14, 2020

If Football Season Doesn’t Happen

And, while sports are certainly minor in comparison to keeping the world safe, the pain we may encounter still matters. It matters very much.

October 17, 2019

The End-of-Season Debriefing Practice and How to Do It

We wanted an intentional way for our boys to process the experiences and emotions of the season rather than “just” having them turn in their equipment and move on to the next thing.

October 9, 2019

Hey Girl, Stop “Should”ing All Over Yourself

The trouble we get into is thinking that where we “should” sit has anything to do with anything other than you and your family.

August 6, 2019

In Defense of “The Parents”: a Reminder for the Coaching Family

Remember that we coach in their sacred spaces. We are coaching the people they have loved, raised, cried, and prayed over long before we got them. For some, we are coaching their validation of self. I’m not making excuses for poor behavior, I’m offering a space for us to gather some empathy for the seemingly extreme reactions.

August 1, 2019

Sometimes It Only Looks Good on the Napkin

We cannot let the perfect be the enemy of the done. We cannot sacrifice our sanity by trying to run plays that just don’t work with our current personnel, life stage or needs. So don’t try. Sometimes you just have to wad those things up, toss them away and draw up something new.

July 26, 2019

Things Would Still Be Hard Even If You Weren’t a Coaching Family. Because Life is Hard.

I’m not minimizing the stressors of the coaching life. They are real and they can be unique and overwhelming. What I am saying is that pointing at coaching as the blanket scapegoat for everything challenging that happens during the season can put our hearts in a dangerous spot.

July 16, 2019

It’s Okay to be Okay When Coaching is Not

But what I am not going to do is shut down my life and let the ride of coaching dictate my emotional state completely. Because that is not good for anyone. It’s not good for me. It’s not good for my kids. And believe it or not, it’s not good for coach.

July 16, 2019

It's Okay to be Okay When Coaching is Not

February 18, 2019

When You Lose a Player

My professional training is as a mental health therapist so I assume that is why we have received quite a few of these phone calls from coaching colleagues over the years. Through our own difficult experiences and those of others, I am hopeful that I may be able to share some tips here that can help your family navigate these tragic situations with a little more secure footing.

February 12, 2019

Love Languages (Coaching Style)

When we are better for each other we are better for our families, our children, and the athletes and communities we serve. It’s a pretty good investment that can pump out an exponential return.