It’s okay if you’re mourning the loss of something you’ve worked really hard for (like so many of our coaches are currently doing). You’re allowed to mourn.
As wives, moms, and coaches' partners, we tend to lead busy lives. In the craziness, allow yourselves to be okay with taking care of yourself. Be okay with taking a few moments to decompress.
Some of us are involved to extreme levels—doing team laundry, organizing fundraisers, or feeding the team every week. Others are content to be at games supporting the team and pitching in otherwise as needed. Neither way of doing it is right or wrong.
If you have a little extra time, write a little note and set it out with the special treat. It’s simple and sweet—something basic to surprise him and remind him that you care.
Your coach is out until at least 2:00 am every Friday night, and you don’t question it.
I share this story in hopes of being an encouragement. We all come from different backgrounds, have different interests and personalities. We know for a fact that being a coach's wife is tough much of the time, and that some of us adapt to it better than others.
Here’s the thing though, if you embrace this life instead of fight it, it can be so much more than just a game or just a sport, because even with the ups and downs, being a coaching family means more.
We put our worth in what we do, our accomplishments, and the success of our commitments, instead of the things that actually matter. When we do this, we begin to miss what life is actually about and where true value comes from. We worship being busy, and eventually that will come to haunt us in one way or another.
You aren't a single mom. You aren't doing it all alone. You aren't living the military or first responder life. When you kiss your husband goodbye before work, you aren't left wondering if you will ever kiss him again. Yes, this lifestyle is unique and sometimes lonely. Yet, even when it is hard, we still have a husband, father, supporter, and protector. We still have someone to do life with and that is a wonderful thing. Sometimes a change of perspective is all you need.
Wherever you are, don’t forget the bigger picture. Don’t forget the beautiful things amid the ups and downs. Don’t forget the look on your son’s face when he gets to run on the field after the game, or the look on your husband’s face after the biggest win of his career. Don’t forget why we do this.
Don't feel like you can't miss a game.
Guilt about missing a game is a real thing. I get it. I hate missing a game too. Being a coaching family is our life, and I feel like I am not supporting my coach if I miss a game. Here's the thing though, sometimes it's just too much. Some days, you might be completely exhausted from still trying to get the hang of having an infant, or your 7-month-old might be teething, or your toddler might have been throwing tantrums all day, and even just the thought of getting to the game is too much. Guess what? That is okay. Be honest with your coach about this, and learn the other ways you can support him – even when you are not able to be present at a game.
You know what? Nobody's life is perfect. If you realize that now, you will save yourself much anxiety, pain, and stress. During season, schedules are crazy, nights get late, and your home will most likely become a mess. As a recovering perfectionist, this is something that freaked me out . . . especially early on in the season.