To the Barely Getting by Coach’s Wife

To the Barely Getting by Coach’s Wife

I adore Friday nights, and I wait with anticipation every week for a game under the lights. I have always loved football, and even the idea of watching a game literally makes me giddy. I must admit, though, that I am not a potluck planner or a postgame party host. I tend to resent anything added to my calendar, and I will almost always opt for downtime when given a choice.    

I can’t tell you how many times that I’ve woken up with great intentions… often looking something like this: I am going to get to the games early, talk to my husband beforehand, and take the kids to the bathroom (to avoid the potty emergency that surfaces at kickoff).

I am then going to invite my fellow wives over after the game… to get to know one another better… to support one another… and give us all the opportunity to feel as though we are part of a family. Ah yes… that sounds awesome!

Then my day actually begins, and these ambitious thoughts and intentions turn into cooking breakfast, rushing to school, working a full-time job, taking the kids to practice. This is followed by scurrying home to make dinner so we can eat and still have time for homework and showers before it’s so late that I am putting kids to bed at 10 pm on a school night.  

The moments before a football game consist of a frazzled mom stumbling into the stadium with very little time to spare. The pregame chat with my husband turns into a quick wave (if I’m lucky), and the quality time with other wives turns into…well…nothing.

The postgame gatherings just don’t happen. Not because I don’t want them to, but because when it’s all said and done, I admit that I simply have nothing left and that I am spent.

Sometimes I feel as though I am barely getting by.

OK… hold up… I actually feel like that a lot.

And, if you’re like me, a coach’s wife, keeping the ship afloat at home while working a full-time job and trying to keep your pantry full while also not forgetting to take pictures of the kids here and there and oh yes, make sure you get to the game before kickoff… then, you totally understand what it feels like to be overwhelmed.

I have come to understand that this season of life is just as important as any other. But, I also realize that organizing a gathering after games, or a pregame supper with my fellow wives, would add to my already overflowing plate, and I can’t imagine doing that right now and actually surviving.

There are some truly amazing women out there mastering their calendars skipping through the season. They are out there meeting friends for coffee, yoga, or a nice dinner out. OK, can I just say this? That’s not me. And if you’re currently riding in the same boat, I want to encourage you that it’s OK!

We all journey through life in different seasons, at other times. It’s so easy to yearn for someone else’s season. At some point in my life, I can become more social, and my kids might be less demanding. I may even plan something after a game. But for now, I am the wife who will continue to love and adore the players as much as my husband does. I will ask tons of questions after every practice, and I will not miss a game unless an emergency prevents it. I’ll be the coach’s wife who will inevitably cry at the end of the season, as I always do.

I might be a little frazzled, a little tired, and just ready to go home after a game. But, what I know, and can be confident in, is that I am doing my absolute best at being a coach’s wife. I love supporting my husband on his journey.

Each one of us has been perfectly and meticulously created by a God who adores us. When I let that sink in, I tend to forget about comparing myself to others and embrace all things “ME.” The number of gatherings that I attend, or boutique tops that I own, is actually (gulp) meaningless. What does have meaning, though, is fully cherishing this season of life before it passes and another season begins.

I am constantly reminding myself that I really am making it.

And, coach’s wife, you are too! One dark chocolate truffle at a time. Or maybe for you, it’s a Butterfinger flurry or an entire sleeve of Chips Ahoy cookies. Whatever it is, friend, feel free to relax. Breathe. You are the perfect coach’s wife to your husband. You really are! Keep walking your walk. You were literally made for this! And you are doing great, even in the moments when you feel like you’re barely getting by.

2 comments

  1. Missy Dolgener says:

    This is spot on Sara Sommers! Currently, I am the mother of our senior quarterback, first year 7th grade d-lineman and the Head Cross Country coach. It seems every week I vow to do better but inevitably I just “get by” Thank you for sharing your perspective…fantastic article!

  2. Sara Sommers says:

    Thank you Missy. This means so much to me! Sometimes it’s nice knowing that there are other people out there going through the same things we are, and that we are not alone. ❤

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