Behind the firing: Tips for the wife on the move again

Behind the Firing: Tips for the Wife on the Move Again

It’s the same story, a different day. You and your coach have discussed this during pillow talk, but it becomes real when the local news pushes it out. The head coach gets fired, and you already know deep down that it will be your reality soon. That’s just how it goes.  

For us, it has happened twice in less than two years. Talk about some bad luck and timing.

That’s two moves, two new jobs, two periods of making new friends, and two unfortunate times of saying goodbye to those new friends. It NEVER gets easier, but I knew what I signed up for, and honestly, now I feel more seasoned than some of the most seasoned coaches’ wives. I’ve had to learn to make peace with a few things along this journey I didn’t anticipate.

Here are my tips for the wife facing another move

It’s Ok to Adjust Your Dreams 

My career path might look slightly different from what I envisioned before meeting my husband, and that’s OK. In college, I wanted to be the next Erin Andrews. Unfortunately, that’s not possible unless I want to live thousands of miles away from my coach, and I don’t. I want to be in the bleachers every Saturday, cheering for him and the team. Luckily, there are plenty of opportunities in local news and Public Relations. The dream looks different, but it now includes my husband and his plans, and they sure do look good together.

Make Your House a Home

Decorate the house even if you think it’s a temporary stop. Packing up a home twice in 10 months was exhausting. Not to mention I am a Joanna Gaines personality type. A fellow coach’s wife told me once that she doesn’t even bother decorating if she knows she won’t be there more than two years. For me, a house isn’t a home until I feel comfortable in it, and bare walls don’t do it for me. So, I take time to hang pictures on the wall and keep wall putty handy for when it is time to take them down.

Branch Out and Meet People

New friends who understand your life path make the journey easier. There weren’t many wives on staff during one unique adventure, so I tried to make new friends outside of the coaching world, and it had its challenges. Sometimes they don’t understand that you cook for your coach on Tuesdays because the team has won the last three times you cooked that meal or that it is out of the question to miss a game.

It’s a different world, I get it, and I will forever be thankful for that time I friended a high school coach’s wife. Especially when she said, “Hey sister… want to come to my coach’s game Friday night? I’ll tag along with you Saturday for yours!” It’s the little things.

Avoid the Blame Game

Stay strong in your faith. Many times after the second firing, both coach and I asked, “Why?” It is natural to question your situation, but I continuously try to remind myself that this is his purpose for us.

Coaching is my husband’s calling, so each new position means we have been called to another mission. Think of it as another set of players to mold and help and another city with new possibilities. When you think of it like that, it sounds exciting, right?

Change is hard and scary, but it is also inevitable. Adaptability is a skill that makes this coaching life easier to handle. I understand that I will say a lot of hellos and a lot of goodbyes each year, and in between those times, I will strive to serve my Lord and our team to the best of my ability.

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