Dear Upset Parent,
I know I am the last person you want to talk to—the coach’s wife. But I watch you get upset with my husband after a game, as I stand here with a baby in my arms waiting patiently to see him for this first time in days.
First, let me tell you, I understand. You are looking for answers to questions; you are looking for understanding; you are looking for comfort as to why your child isn’t getting what you think he deserves. You're trying to protect him and stand up for him.
I get it … I am a parent too. We all have that instinct to protect and shield our children when something is not right.
But I think there are a few things you should know.
First, your child is loved and prayed for every day. My coach and I love your son. We go the extra mile to form a bond like no other. My husband and I get on our knees every day and pray for your son. We pray for his safety, welfare, education, and happiness; as we do for each of our players.
Second, we treat your son as we would our own. My coach encourages, coaches, talks, and yells at his players all the same.
You see, it is not in my husband’s character to treat any player differently than his own son. It is important to his name and reputation to make sure everyone is treated fairly. He gives each player the opportunity to succeed in practice and demonstrate understanding.
Next, there is a time and a place for this conversation. It is not now, not after a game, no matter the outcome. It is not while his family, friends, colleagues, and community are watching. Not in the middle of the field or outside the locker room. Certainly, not at the volume, you are speaking; the time and the place are not now.
Please respect the nature of the environment. I welcome you to call or email my coach to set-up an appointment where you can talk more privately and perhaps view film.
Please know that my coach’s job, his whole career, is evaluated on how 16-18-year-old young men perform under Friday Night Lights. Yes, we are crazy to stake half (or all, for some) of our family's income on the performance of these young men. Call us crazy, but my husband loves his job.
He is paid to win football games and coach boys to become men. He is not going to play someone who isn’t ready. And he certainly wouldn’t want to send a player out to the huddle, who could potentially embarrass or hurt himself.
He has a responsibility to your son to ensure he can successfully play the game of football.
Lastly, please know that the goal is for your son to be better … a better person, teammate, communicator, worker. It is for your son to enjoy this time, to make memories, and to build something that he will use his entire life—character, and hope.
Romans 5:3 says, “Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.”
In Faith and Prayer,
The Coach’s Wife