Recently I was wearing a shirt that said “Lovin’ life as a coach’s wife.”
My football coach husband turned to me and said, “How do you feel about being a coach’s wife?” I quickly replied, “It’s all I’ve ever known.”
He didn’t accept my easy answer and pressed me asking, “Well, I know that, but how do you really feel about it?”
At that moment, I wasn’t prepared to answer the question. I had never really thought that deeply about it; I’d simply accepted it as my way of life. But, his question set my mind in gear.
Over the next few days I narrowed it down to these four words: Called, Committed, Connected, and Content.
Yes, that is my answer. I feel called, committed, connected, and content.
First and foremost, I feel that the coaching life is a calling. He was called to coach, and I am called to help him. Genesis 2:18 And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helpmate for him.
A helpmate is a companion or helper that is suitable for him. It doesn’t mean that we are exactly the same, rather that we complement each other and work together in harmony.
I might not be able to teach proper tackling techniques or how to defend the spread offense, but I can help him relate to parents or see a player’s point of view in a way that doesn’t come naturally to him. I can host players or coaches in our home and many other things that he wouldn’t do alone.
Helping him in ways that he isn’t equipped to manage alone is my calling.
I am committed to my coach and this coaching life. I am committed to the lifestyle, the obligations, the hours, the players, the program, and the moves.
The commitment to the program and the players means sacrificing my time and energy to support them. That sometimes seems easier than sacrificing time with my coach while he spends countless hours with them. It all comes down to this: I have to be willing to share him (coach) with them (players, parents, & fans), while he shares “Him” (Christ) with them!
Now, let’s talk about the moves. We have made several moves; some I made eagerly while some were much harder (a story for another day).
A sign hanging on our wall says, “Home is where football takes us,” but truthfully, home is where God sends us. Serving God is our true calling. Football is just our assignment. That is something worth our commitment and yes, even the moves.
This way of life allows me to connect to my husband in many ways. I attend his games and share in his wins and losses. We work together during quarterback club events and team activities. It gives us a shared mission.
It also allows us a way to be connected to our daughters in a way that no other job could. We have spent time with them, their friends, and even a few boyfriends (insert eye roll).
Coaching and teaching allows us to witness their character and work ethic. We get to know most of their friends and are involved in their activities. We use these opportunities to show them they are loved and we value the things that are important to them.
I am content. I may not always be happy, but I am content.
"Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content." Philippians 4:11
Winning doesn’t make us content. Popularity and praise are temporary and can change with a couple of losses. But, Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and forever. He says we are loved. Our worth comes from him, not from our coach’s record. We are working for God’s approval, not man’s. Once we accept this truth in our lives, it makes the rough seasons easier to handle.
I don’t allow myself to wonder what life would be like if he were at a different level (college or pro), a different town, or even in a different profession. This is our life and God has put us here for a reason. I have learned to rest in that truth and with that comes great contentment.
I‘ve tried to put into words the sentiments and emotions that spring from the well of a coach’s wife’s heart after 21 years in this “Coaching Life.”
Now, I pose this question to you:
“How do you feel about being a coach’s wife?”