I was in your shoes not long ago. I was a football player’s girlfriend and coach’s fiancé before I was a coach’s wife. I knew what to expect, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t hard anyway.
Most of this won’t be new to you. You’ve probably been living this “coach’s wife” life for quite some time now. So, you’re fully aware that saying yes to marrying a coach means you are saying yes to the long nights, the wins, the losses, and the unexpected turns at every corner.
You are saying yes to being his cheerleader in the stands and his listening ear at home. With this lifestyle comes some of the most incredible adventures thus far, but it also has its lonely moments, and planning a wedding during football season can be one of those times.
There are a couple of things you must come to terms with while planning a wedding in-season.
The perfect date is limited.
The date you can get married on differs for each sport. For football, you have about four months to work with. January, February, May, and June. And if you’re marrying a former offensive lineman, then they probably refuse to wear a suit in the summer months. That left me with January or February.
On the bright side, you now have a small pool of months to choose from, which makes the decision more manageable, and if it is January or February, venues discount those months heavily due to it being wedding off-season. TALK ABOUT A STEAL. Now you can always take your chance with scheduling your wedding on bye-week, but if we have learned anything from the pandemic, the schedule constantly changes.
Some planning will be done groom-less.
You envision it in your head. You and your soon-to-be husband tasting cake flavors and discussing tiers with your baker, selecting the perfect invitation color at the print shop, or touring venues together. Let’s face it; we are sometimes lucky even to have our coaches’ home for dinner. Understand if he could be there, he would, but the good Lord called him to coach.
Try asking your cake person if you can take home sample cakes and do the tasting at home with just you and your coach. It is romantic, and let’s be honest, most coaches have a sweet tooth, so he will be happy to have some cake after a long day. Video each tour so you can go home and show him, and you and the coach can discuss which one is best.
You now have extended “family.”
Like me, you may have gotten engaged to your coach at one school and will be getting married while at another school. That’s two entire staff and their families and former teammates, not to mention both of your families, friends, and loved ones. But let me say, our football friends were some of the best guests!
I don’t think the head coach and his wife left the dance floor. For many of them, this was their first night out of the house doing something fun. They were able to let loose, and boy did we let loose with them.
Lean on your tribe.
Brides can be more tenacious than a 6-foot-4, 250-pound linebacker on a blitz, but we also know the work and decisions made heading into game weeks. Let’s be honest, we ask our men to pick between two colors, and they always end up picking the color we really didn’t want, so why do we ask? Lean on your ladies.
Pick a bride tribe that you know will be there for every question, comment, and concern. THAT IS WHAT THEY ARE FOR. I don’t know what I would’ve done without my Matron of Honor. If you don’t have a good bride tribe, then you can hit me up anytime. That is the beauty of this group and this football wife’s family. Nobody understands more than we do, so lean on us.
Wedding planning is supposed to be one of the happiest times of your life. Remember, you are strong. You have been selected for this life for a reason.