Note to Reader: In the spirit of CBS This Morning: Letter to a Younger Self we are inviting coaches’ wives to reflect on the milestones of their past and reflect on different lessons they have learned about the coaching life. We are a stronger community when we learn from each other. We can’t wait to hear your story!
Dear Chelsey of 2010,
What’s up girl? I see you—young, wild and free. Head over heels for your new husband, “The Coach.”
You think you have it all figured out. I mean how much could there possibly be to this whole Coach’s wife thing. You’re thinking, “So what? I married a Coach ... but that doesn’t mean anything to me.”
Let me tell ya girl, it’s going to mean everything to you! Here’s how it going to go.
Yea whatever, you’re bored. You don’t really love watching baseball but you’re there to support your man. No one really notices you or cares if you’re there or not.
You take your chair and sit and watch but you’re not going to be invested. Over the years you start to see other coaches’ wives and how they are involved in the team and the players’ lives.
You will start to want that relationship. but you won’t be confident enough to force your way in. And trust me, that’s okay!
You are starting to get the hang of this coaching wife thing.
You are going to be exhausted from taking care of the baby alone most days. Some resentment will start to come over you and this life, then, wait for it, BAM your pregnant with baby #2, due right in the middle of baseball season (you really should work on your timing, girl).
This baby is a girl and in true girl fashion is very dramatic but delivered safely with Coach by your side.
Here’s the kicker—it’s baseball season so naturally coach has to go to a game the next day. You’re annoyed, but it’s his job.
Then SURPRISE, he comes back to the hospital with a signed pink softball and the sweetest card from all the players. That! That right there is all it takes to soften your heart to this life.
It took 6 years, but you finally see what being a coach’s wife is all about.
The next few years you spend on the same field hauling both kids and all that goes with them to games.
You will start to notice the parents who help with your kids, who play with your kids, and love your kids like they are their own.
You start to love their kids, the players, like you never thought you would. You will start to see just how much of an impact Coach is making on these boys life, and you will admire this life that you live!
Summer Before Year 9
Coach will take a job at a new school.
You are going to be heartbroken.
You finally love the old school. You found your place. You know the parents, and they know you.
You love those kids. How could you leave them? You could never love another school like you do this one. There will be so many emotions but you will get through it.
You will go to the new school with a positive attitude. Try to relax, this goes with the Coaching life territory.
This is your year! After a year off for Covid, this is the year you have been waiting for.
You will be at a new school in a small community where everyone loves sports. It’s one of those towns you see on TV shows about football. The kind where the whole town shuts down for football games. It is the type of place coaches dream of.
Baseball season will start and you will bee-bop up to the games with your wagon filled with chairs, kids, and of course post game cookies.
Your kids will be loud and rambunctious (they get that mess from their Daddy) and everyone will notice you, but no one is going to approach you because let’s face it you’re new.
Keep a positive attitude! Do not lose that excitement! By the end of the season grandparents will be bringing special treats for your kids, players will be sending thanks through the coach for the cookies and treats you provide, and players will help load that wagon full of stuff into your car.
All those years you questioned your place in this world will come to an end.
You will know that you were made for this life.
The point I need to make is, I know right now in Year 1, you are questioning everything. Your place and purpose. But I promise it will all come together.
Give it time. You are going to fall more and more in love with this life than you ever knew was possible.
You will see former players have babies, get engaged, follow their dreams and you will soak in every minute of it like they are your own.
I am not saying that later you won’t still have some doubts because you will. Just know that everything will have a way of coming together.
When the team loses that 2nd round playoff game and your crying silently, a parent will come up and tell you how much fun and how great of a year their boy had playing for your husband.
There is always something that will talk you off that ledge. Hang in there! You got this.
You are doing great and you are going to continue to rock this whole thing. Trust me!
Chelsey of 2021