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Dear Future Self, When You’re a Veteran Coach’s Wife

Comparison is the thief of joy. But that new wife can’t help but compare herself to the “ideal” coach’s wife.

Veteran, you know by now that there is no true mold for a “good coach’s wife.”

But she is trying to figure out what that looks like. She may feel inadequate if she doesn’t have the time or mental space to bake cookies or cook meals for the team.

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Coach’s Wife, You Have Eyes on You Because of Who You Married—Lead With Love

What does this kinda-famous-by-proxy leadership mean during a pandemic…in an election year…in a time when civil rights and racial injustices are major societal players as well? Oh, and the hardships and heartaches unique to each community in typical circumstances—those haven’t gone away either.

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Football Might Bring Us to the Stadium; But Community is What Gives it Life

Football is the reason we’re brought together, to cheer on the game and its players, but it takes on life because of the surroundings—I am moved by the music, join in with the cheerleaders, become gracious in a win, remain respectful in a loss, join in the celebration of our school, and most of all, I also find imperfect people around me who are trying to grow a community.

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We are a Childfree Coaching Family

For this reason, I do feel that I often have difficulty connecting with other coaches' wives who lament about traveling to games solo with children, getting up during the night to care for children, worrying about their children finishing their homework, making it to their own extracurricular activities, the list goes on. We all struggle, but the struggles look different and sometimes I feel there is an unbreakable barrier between us.

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