Dear Coach’s Wife, You Don’t Know How Lucky You Are
I know he said he’d be home in fifteen minutes, but that was over three hours ago and now the dinner is cold and the kids are in bed.
I know you were in the middle of some family time when the phone rang and he had to step away to talk to a recruit, or another coach, or about scouting, or about the adjustments to the game plan. It seems to be nonstop and there’s always something.
Now that things are finally returning back to normal post-quarantine and you are putting things on the calendar again, you are back to doing them all on your own, but now you have the added headache of masks or getting the kids to sit still through a zoom.
I know at the end of a long day you’d rather be spending your free time doing something for yourself to unwind, like binging Netflix while drinking a Truly or reading a book while drinking a glass of wine, but instead you are helping wash and fold the uniforms or preparing snack bags for the team.
I know all you want to do is close your tired eyes after trying to watch his game while managing the kids in the stands, making sure they don’t do anything too embarrassing and/or dangerous, but coach just got home and is talking about all the highs and lows of the game.
I know you’ve had to take on an extra share with the house and kids for a very long time. You’ve unpacked all the boxes after a move and hung all the pictures on the wall to make it feel like a home. You’ve coordinated dozens of schedules, gotten them to and from hundreds of places, and fed them millions of somewhat-nutritious dinners. And I know you feel unseen and under appreciated.
But you don’t know how lucky you are.
You have a husband people look to as a leader. They value and respect his opinion and his outlook. He’s a good man shaping the future of the next generation, not only by pushing them to be winners but also by teaching them how to handle being the losers.
You and your kids get to be heavily involved in his job, his passion and his purpose. It’s not just coach who is setting the example for the next generation, it’s your entire family too.
You might not see it every time, but you are making the day of the players with the little, thoughtful things you do. It might just be sitting in the stands on a Friday night, but for some of those kids you’re the only one up there cheering them on.
You are the main support for the man who carries the struggles and trials of an entire team.
They might not write news articles or social media blurbs about how you’re the only reason coach manages to have both a personal and professional life, but you are seen.
If nothing else, know the players’ moms in the stands realize you’re the true MVP, not to mention us, the rest of the coaches’ wives.
Your time and investment in the team and your coach will have ripple effects that will produce waves that extend further than you can ever possibly imagine.
Yes, there are some very difficult pieces of this life we lead. But the joys, my dear coach’s wife, are far greater.
Jess Gilardi is a lacrosse coach’s wife who recently moved to Long Island when her husband became a head coach. She has three kids, ages 7, 6, and 3. She was a mental health therapist in the school system before becoming the full time chaos coordinator for the family (a.k.a. stay at home mom). She does manage to fit in a little work here and there. Outside of lacrosse and family, she loves Jesus, the Tracy Anderson Method, and empowering others. You can follow her crazy adventures on social media, Instagram @jessgilardi and Facebook as Jessica Gilardi.