Dear Husband, As We Enter Our First Season Together
We are in the beginning weeks of our first season together and there are a few things I need you to know.
- I am so excited!
Trust and believe I am pumped about this season. We have been talking about our first season together for what seems like an eternity and I am over-the-moon that it is finally here! I want to do all the things, take all the pictures, make all the treats, and drive all the miles, all while wearing my new “Tailgates and Touchdowns” or “Dibs on the Coach with the Beard” shirt! FOOTBALL, YAY!!!
- I am nervous.
There seem to be a million things to worry about. How successful will the team be as a whole? Is your position group performing as expected? Are you staying hydrated? Where do I draw the line between pouring myself into your dreams and keeping my own alive? How do I navigate this new group of coaches’ wives? Where do I park? Who will I sit with at the games? Is the field house a “boys only” club or can I go inside and drop off the short list of things you forgot when you left home this morning? Can your game night shirt go in the dryer? And so on and so on…
- I know you’re used to the in-season hours, but this is new to me.
Please, remember that this is my first rodeo, Coach. I am used to having access to you whenever I want and relying on you for all the things that wonderful husbands do. But now, football. I am learning that outside of the roof caving in or an ambulance ride, there is no need to inform you of the on-goings of everyday life. In-season, during those thirty or so minutes before bed when we get to actually talk to each other (you know, after practice, between you scarfing down the plate I left you in the fridge and a much needed shower) I have to settle for giving you the highlight reel of my day. I am not used to this limited access. And this, by far, is the hardest part—the missing you.
- I have a million questions for you, but sometimes I don’t ask them. There are things I don’t know but want to. Positions, plays, penalties…What is that signal? What can you possibly be discussing for a thousand hours in a meeting? Why do you misspell and capitalize the word huddle? Why is your phone constantly dinging, ringing, and buzzing? Can we get a picture after every game? Who is the booster club president, again?
- I am trying to figure out how to best support you.
Your career is filled with pressure and high expectations that I didn’t expect. There are times when I want to shake you and give you a talking to, and then times when I know you need a soft place to land after a difficult practice. Some days I can tell you need to be reminded of the big picture and how important you are to the young men you impact everyday, while other days you need to vent to me about the frustrations that come along with this lifestyle. And then there are the days when I want nothing more than to support you but I have nothing to give. I am physically exhausted, mentally spent, and I think if I hear one more spiel about offensive strategy or next week’s opponent I will pull my hair out. Those days are hard.
- I wouldn’t change it for anything.
Not one single bit. I will take everything that comes along with this crazy life. Not because I love football, or because I like the notoriety of a “coach wife”, but for no other reason than YOU. I love Friday nights watching you do what you’re called to do and looking at your booty from the stands. I live for you searching for my eyes and then throwing up the “ILY” hand signal as you come onto the field. The late nights, early mornings, and long days can be some of the most frustrating aspects of our lives, but I wouldn’t change anything. Not one second. I will take a hard day with you over an easy day with anyone else. I love you, Coach. Now let’s get after it.
I am a first year coach’s wife to a high school football coach in Georgia. I teach high school Literature. Coach and I blended our families in 2020, and I am new to the coaching life. I am mom to Keegan, 11 and Auburn, 9 and bonus mom to Deuce, 17 & Gloria, 15.