Journal, Marriage

Dear Husband, This Is What I Need From You This Season

Dear Husband,

As if football season ever truly ends, we are officially entering the meat and potatoes of this football season. And while it often seems like seasons come and go, I find myself even more excited than the last. While we tackle this season head on, here are a few things I want you to know that I need from you.

ONE. I NEED YOU TO UNDERSTAND MY STRUGGLES.

While I open my arms and my heart to this coaching ministry, there will be times I get frustrated. There will be things you miss out on because of late night practices and weekend events. There will be nights when I have cooked a big dinner you said you would be home in time for. There will be times when it feels like the only time we see each other is as we crawl into bed at night. And sometimes I will struggle with these things. But along with my struggles is my appreciation for the passion you have in helping to mold young men. The sacrifices we make as a family are for a bigger purpose. I am completely on board.  I just need you to understand my struggles.

TWO. I NEED YOU TO EMBRACE THE CRAZY.

Could there ever be a better term to describe football season than “crazy”? I can promise you the house will be messy (maybe even guarantee that), but it will be cleaned in due time. The kids might eat fast food here and there, but they will be fed. The errands we will run and events we will attend may seem endless, but there will be down time eventually. The days will come and go quickly, but we will be making memories. I need you to embrace the crazy.

THREE. I NEED YOU TO SHOW US YOUR LOVE.

While this may seem obvious, it feels so important to say. Having two young children who know Dad is always at the field, showing us your love by the little things makes the season that much more special. I wholeheartedly believe that showing your love during football season is different than the “off season,” as time is so limited. As a coach’s wife, I have quickly learned that quality of time over quantity of time is more desired. I think it is easy to sometimes get caught up in realizing how little time we have as a family during the fall, but the important part is how we spend that time we do have together. Show us your love by being all in – being one hundred percent present in our time together. We vow to do the same. I just need you to show us your love.

FOUR. I NEED YOU TO GIVE THEM YOUR ALL.

You were destined for this life and this is your purpose. And while I know you may feel guilty for missing one of the kid’s events or games, I truly believe, and hope that you know, that God gave you this role to use as a platform. You have the opportunity to help young men, not just win ball games, but help guide them as they move on to their next chapter in life. They need your one hundred percent. They need your support, guidance, encouragement, and tough love. They need to see what a great husband and father looks like. They need you as a role model. When times get tough, I need you to remember your purpose. I need you to give them your all.

FIVE. I NEED YOU TO KNOW WE ARE IN THIS TOGETHER.

We are a team, but I am also your biggest cheerleader. My support of your coaching will only continue to grow as the seasons pass. There will be times that you may not fully understand my struggles. There will be times when the crazy feels too overwhelming. There will be times when you may not show us your love as well as I’d hoped, and vice versa. There will be times when you may feel like you aren’t giving your all. But the beauty of this is that good teammates don’t ever give up on each other. We are going to have low days, but I believe God puts us through those lows so we can truly appreciate the highs. We will continue to grow as individuals, as parents, and as a married couple because this coaching life is truly where we belong. I need you to know we are in this together.

 

The season brings excitement. And while football plays a central role in this family, our marriage will always be the focal point. And for this reason, Coach, I am communicating to you what I need. Too often, we hold back from expressing what we need from each other and it can end up creating a number of issues in our marriages.

To my coaches’ wives, I encourage you to express what you need from your husband this season and invite him to do the same. To my other wives, I also encourage you to have this conversation with your husband, whether you’re entering a busy time in your life, or you just haven’t communicated a topic like this in some time.

The seasons will continue to roll along and my needs from you may change. But for now, this is what I need this season.

And this season is my favorite!

Love,

Your Wife & Teammate