This week, we’re starting a new weekly series called “Friday Night Wife of the Week.” Each week, we will recognize a wife we admire by asking her the same five questions. We hope this gives our readers a chance to connect with others’ struggles and hardships, but also learn from someone who has been through or is going through the same things.
So without further ado, this week’s Friday Night Wife of the Week is Kara Adams Robinson, whose husband is at New Mexico State University. We love Kara’s wisdom and hope you can take away a few helpful nuggets.
1) Tell us a little bit about yourself. Who are you and what do you do?
I’m a physician assistant and mom to littles that are 2.5, 1.5 and one on the way in December. So currently I have no hobbies, haha.
2) How many years have you been a coach’s wife and what schools have you been to?
We have only been married for 5 years, together 10. For that whole time, he has been working toward a college football career. When we were dating he was at Texas in the strength department. He later moved on to high school football in Austin, TX with the private school Hyde Park. He took a break from football to move close to me while I was in Physician Assistant school in Virginia. There he worked at a sports training facility with kids, college, and professional athletes. We moved to Lubbock, Texas for my career where he worked in high school again with Friendship High until he was given opportunity to intern at NMSU. A year or so later he was the new Director of Football Ops!
3) If you could go back in time and have a conversation with yourself as a first-year coach’s wife, what’s one thing you would tell yourself?
I’m not sure I need to go back in time to have these conversations with myself. I think I need to keep talking to myself daily about how hard my husband is working and to give him the credit he deserves instead of being upset he’s not able to be home when I want. I think what I would tell someone coming into this football life is to keep reminding themselves of the reasons they chose this person to be in their life. Sometimes I get too focused on what I need to do and accomplish and what I need him to accomplish and forget to love him and my life that I chose. He has had to remind me I’ve gone weeks without showing him affection and he’s right. Not to say we both don’t make unsupportive decisions to each other that need to be communicated, but when we are in this hard stage I often must remind myself I chose this life and I really do love my husband, even if I don’t like him for a day.
4) How do you find balance between supporting your spouse and supporting yourself so that you don’t lose your mind?
I’m not sure I’ve found the balance of supporting myself and my husband yet. We are in that hard stage of life with little ones. Since I work full time I haven’t found that balance for self, so I do go “crazy” often. I find myself crying for no reason alone or becoming mad at my husband for not returning home when he said he would. This is a daily battle for us. We do go to bed angry at times. At least I do. In the end it’s that choice I talked about, that I chose him, and wouldn’t choose any other because when we are able to communicate, and we are amazing together.
5) What encouragement do you have for a fellow coach’s wife who currently finds herself in a difficult season and doesn’t feel like she’s measuring up?
It’s ok to feel the feelings you’re having, even if they are negative, because they are valid. I am irrational about small things sometimes. It’s important to recognize them and try to find the real reason for having these feelings, then recognize the good you have in this life. The thing that pulls me out of some of the worst moments is an opportunity to help another. This could be physically doing something or just being able to talk to another person in a hard time.
* If you have a coach’s wife you’d like to nominate to be the Friday Night Wife of the Week or husband is also a Director of Football Ops at the College level, please contact Lindsey Thompson at email@example.com.