Family, Journal

I Felt Completely DONE, And This is What I Prayed.

Full disclosure: while I enjoyed algebra, I should not be too close to math equations. Yet here I am talking to you about multiplying.

Hear me out.

I’ve been a coach’s wife for almost 10 years. I’ve heard the stories of the wives that had to stay back to sell a house while coach started a new job. Each time I said a tiny prayer for those ladies and then immediately said another prayer that I would never be in that situation. The thing about prayer is, if you’re sincere, you will end up being refined. God doesn’t keep us where we are. He refines is to be better.

Fast forward to a month ago when we decided coach would accept his first head coaching position over 1,000 miles away, and I am now that wife staying back, trying to sell a house, work full time, and entertain an 8-year-old boy and 5-year-old girl. The great news is we are confident this is God’s handiwork, but I promise you, it’s still HARD!

Before coach left, with the understanding that we’d be here until the house sold or I got a job there, I came across the story in Mark chapter 6 where Jesus multiplies 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish to feed a crowd of 5,000 hungry men, women, and children. Sometime prior I had written a note to myself after reading the same scripture asking, “What of mine could I offer to be multiplied?”

Suddenly I began praying for God to multiply ME during this temporary separation. Multiply my peace, patience, joy, energy, and rest. And do you know what I’ve learned? He still multiplies, and it’s not just food! He truly has multiplied ME. He is carrying me through this situation in a way that is not my natural inclination.

I like a plan and structured process. Yet, my situation has me soon to be without a job, no place to live in our next city, the kids not registered for a new school yet, and a house that hasn’t sold. Any one of those would normally have me wound as tight as a high schooler’s jeans. Still, here I am walking in grace.

How often do we feel done during a season? Done with all the bedtime routines, done with the laundry, done with the partial family outings, done, done, DONE?

It took me 10 years to pray this scripture over myself, but it’s still better late than never because I am living the power of prayer. I have been multiplied in this stressful time!

I want to share this truth with you, friends! You can be multiplied, too.

This is the kind of multiplication I don’t want to get enough of.

I can promise you that even when this temporary separation ends, I will still be praying to be multiplied. Multiplied energy to invest in players, parents, community members; multiplied eyes and ears to see and hear those who need an extra encouragement; multiplied patience when fans diss my coach; multiplied wisdom to explain said-fan’s diss to my kids who think their Daddy hung the moon; and, most importantly, multiplied seeds of life-giving hope to young men.

Friends, remember you are loved and even if you find yourself in a refining stage, like a goldsmith who intently watches the heating process to ensure the gold is removed just before it’s too late, our God is intently watching us with wisdom and grace beyond our comprehension.

What reassuring knowledge, and knowledge that begets power.

Let’s do this season thing!