love my husband but I don't like him right now

I Love My Husband, But I Don’t Like Him Right Now

Most people only see the season unless they live within the sports industry. They only see the game and only care about the final score or record. And with regards to the coach’s wife, the fans, and parents, only pay attention to if we are at the game (or not.) Were the coach’s kids there? How well did they behave or pay attention to the field? But we know there is much more to it than just those things. 

I know he’s a fantastic leader, and I can see how he’s guiding the next generation. Yes, I understand that he is fulfilling his God-given purpose and using his talent and resources for good. I love that about him. But, he isn’t able to ever be fully present at home. He always has his mind on the next opponent, a new play, or how to win over that top recruit.

He always needs to be available if there’s ever an issue (and there always is) or if a recruit’s parents have a question (even if he’s already answered a million others they’ve already asked). He’s broken so many promises to me that I’ve lost track. His reason is always the same. Something came up, and he couldn’t get out of it. He’s missed out on so many moments with the kids because he got caught up talking to “so and so” about that “one thing.” 

I love this season, but I don’t like it right now

I hope that we go all the way this year. These players have worked so hard, given it their all, never lost faith or backed down from a challenge. They deserve all the trophies.

I love that about this team. But coach hasn’t been around in months. There are things all around the house that I can’t fix. I spend my days waiting in 4-hour blocks to pay maintenance specialists. Otherwise, I have to work around the broken things or bear the inconvenience.

Broken freezer, a dryer that’s on the fritz, clogged drains and gutters, and the list could go on. He hasn’t even been able to get a yearly physical or a dental cleaning because he can’t find the time. He only goes once the issue is so large that it interferes with his coaching ability. 

I love this lifestyle, but I don’t like it right now

I have come to the realization that this is who we are. Being a coaching family is who we were meant to be. It has shaped and molded me into a far better person than I ever could have been without all the good times and difficulties it has exposed me to. I have met so many amazing people and have been to so many incredible places that I would never have known about otherwise.

I love that about this way of life. But I am tired. I’ve had to do so much on my own for far too long. I can’t go to one more event solo. It is frustrating always to have to apologize for his absence. Not to mention how exhausting it is not to have his help wrangling and managing the kids.

I get envious of other couples with free weekends and monthly date nights (that don’t involve a field or fundraising). I just want to go on vacation without having to visit the local college stadium. 

I used to think that being a supportive coach’s wife meant that I had to love every second and every aspect of this lifestyle. Yes, there are some amazing benefits. But it’s not all wins and championship rings. I don’t ever expect other people to understand it completely. But to all my fellow coach’s wives, please know that you don’t have to always like every aspect of this life to be his biggest and best supporter.