As a new coach’s wife, I was told: “Well, we just do life without him. You get used to it.”
I remember thinking this can’t be what it is like; I don’t think I can live like that!!
I married him before he was a coach. I didn’t sign up for this.
I don’t want to do life without him.
At that moment, I told myself that my mindset and decisions play a huge role in how our whole life works out. I don’t want to be another coaching statistic with our marriage.
I can choose to do life without him or decide to make this part of who we are as a couple and family.
It was my attitude that made all the difference. My mindset and attitude set our season as a harvest of blessings instead of a harvest of discontentment. I chose to be part of my husband’s ministry instead of sitting back and letting him do this coaching thing on his own. I decided I would make the ministry of coaching part of our family and love him every step of the way.
Does that mean it’s easy? Definitely not.
Does it mean I’m at every game and serving in every capacity possible? No, there is no way. I mean, we just had our third baby in the middle of football season!
Does it mean I take the time to be at events and serve in ways that are possible for me? Yes, even if that means behind the scenes.
Does it mean I know every player by name because I spend all my time at the ball field? No, but I try to learn their names even if I have to ask 100 times.
Does it mean I try to take the time to learn their stories from my husband and why each of them is important to him? Yes! They become our boys instead of just his.
Does it mean I don’t have times where I get frustrated and cry? No, I definitely have those moments. Who doesn’t??
Does that mean I cherish the time we are together as a family at games and events? Yes, I do, even in the craziness.
Does that mean I make sure when my husband gets home I ask him how practice or the game went so that I am invested in the behind-the-scenes details? Yes, my husband wants to feel that’s what’s important to him is important to me.
Does that mean I have kept track of my kids at every game, or have the perfect behaved boys while getting to watch every play? Most definitely not! I have lost a child at a game, and we may or may not be a hot mess under those Friday Night lights!!
These times could be really difficult, but they don’t have to be! Our mindset as coach’s wives sets the tone for the season.
If we spend our time building up frustration, bitterness and hold grudges, we allow Satan to ruin what God so divinely created! Just as your husband was made for this adventure, you were created to partner with him in this coaching endeavor!
Your husband needs you as his biggest supporter and best friend through those wins and losses. He needs you as he navigates comments from positive and negative spectators. He needs you during those frustrations and celebrations. He needs you.
You are needed and valued as a Coach’s wife. God has placed you in this season of life for a specific purpose. He has placed families and players in your path right now because they need you too.
The ministry of coaching alongside your husband can be the greatest blessing. When we choose to adjust our attitude and mindset, we can view our role as an opportunity for service to our players, families, other coaches, and, most importantly, our husband!