Thank God for this space on the interwebs. Before I landed here, goodness I felt mightily alone. I knew I wasn’t the only sideline spouse out there. There are a few others I know in my community, but goodness, the masses that congregate in this space, what a power voice we are together.
There’s a line from Shakespeare’s Henry V:
“We few, we happy few, we band of brothers; For he today that sheds his blood with me Shall be my brother.”
How much that resonates here. Together this band of sisters raises up in one voice and gives strength to so many. We run households on our own. We wrangle kids. We shoulder the responsibilities of two adults with grace and … the occasional breakdown. But with elegance, nonetheless.
We’re not better than other wives, we’re just unique in our endeavors. We may or may not have chosen this life, but our paths have all converged here. For those of you with years of experience, new wives look to you to guide their decisions. For those of you who are new, we look to you for innovative ideas and evolution of this movement. For everyone, I am still trying to figure out how to get the oil stain out of my husband’s favorite khaki pants. Seriously, someone hit me up.
We go without being in the spotlight or lauded as we justly deserve at times. There are no end-of-year trophies for us and our honorable acts. We are humble in our efforts to give our spouses the space and time to perform as God has gifted them. This place, these annals of words and thoughts, these are the legacy we are leaving – let’s make it amazing.
But this space on the web, this faith-based sacred ground even, is our space to sing our praises, bare our souls, connect with our army of women who want to feel validated as mothers, wives, workers, and leaders. Amen for this space, Hallelujah for not being alone.
Tonight, I’m writing this on coloring book pages and napkins as I’m on a dinner date with my toddler while my husband attends a booster board meeting. This is after spending last night dishwashing, laundering, packing, dinner-making, meal prepping, need I go on? I don’t need to, because you get me. Instead of feeling misunderstood, and under-represented, and downright lonely in this world … I feel support. I’m doing this alone tonight, but I’m far from alone in my efforts. My story here is not unique, and there’s solace to be found in that.
Some people want to feel special, but for me at least, this job isn’t one I want to hold alone. I want my community I can reach out to. Knowing I’m not the only one in this struggle is when I find my peace. The word “tribe” seems to be trendy, but tribes have distinct leaders. We are what I’d like to call a success – a group of women coming together to achieve and dream and learn from each other how to make it in this wacky world.
So, to the new wife who’s learning to cope, to the one trying to dye her socks pink, to the one bleaching her pink socks white, and to the new mom with a 6-day-old determining if she should go to the game … I’m right here with you. Reach out; make the connection; I’ll accept you just as you are, as God tells us to. No judgment, no make-up either – because girl, I ain’t got time for that. That’s how it should be here – this amazing, God-given wonderful space where being you and bearing all the (sometimes) ugly truth is amazingly uplifting, funny, witty, raw and beautiful in all of its glory.
We may be on opposite sides of the field, but we are not rivals. We’re here to applaud you when you succeed, hold you as you’re hurt, and cry right next to you as you stumble. It takes a village to raise a child, it takes a TEAM to be a sideline wife.
Did you know Friday Night Wives also has a private Facebook group, Friday Night Wives (Behind the Lines). If you’d like to meet, encourage, and find support in other coaches’ wives in a positive atmosphere, we’d love to have you join us.