2020 may have been the worst time to have begun my journey as a Coach’s Wife. My first season was filled with uncertainties, uncharted territory, and limitations that no one could have predicted. Not to mention that it was the longest season in the history of forever!
I am aware that there are teams that had no season or an abbreviated season; I am terribly sorry for those who missed Friday nights under the lights. Here in Georgia, we footballed from the beginning of June literally until December 30th. I am so proud and grateful that our season included a state championship title! Regardless, my first season experiencing 7A Georgia football was one helluva intro into this life as a coach’s wife!
Looking back now, I realize June – December of 2020 taught me more about myself than I could have ever imagined.
Here are a few Lessons I Learned from My First Season as a Coach’s Wife
I like to win…and not just on the scoreboard.
I have always been into sports and been somewhat competitive, but this past season taught me that I really, really like to win. We were blessed to have an undefeated season, so Coach and I didn’t have to feel the pang of loss after the last buzzer sounds. However, I discovered that I want to win all the little battles that lead to large scale victory on & off the field.
Whether it was a player’s academics, a fellow wife’s struggles, Coach’s woes from being in the trenches, bureaucratic drama, community support, anything really. I always want to come out on top. Coaching life is an investment in people, and in my first season as a Coach’s Wife, I honed my desire to invest in others.
Don’t just play; compete and win.
I need him.
Independence is a point of pride for most women. As coaches’ wives, there are a million scenarios throughout the season we can reference where we “Didn’t need no man!” Leaky kitchen sink? I got it! Inch of water on the bathroom floor? (True story) No problem! Car won’t start?
I may not fix it, but I can call a mechanic and figure it out! While all of these ring true, my first season quickly taught me that my need for Coach is real. I need him as a listener. I need him as a sounding board and a place to vent. I need him as a co-parent, a partner, a lover, and a friend.
And you know what…that is OK.
I don’t need him.
I know, I just laid out all the reasons I need Coach around, but last season also taught me that I am capable of so much without him, not just that household stuff. I also realized I don’t always need him to help make decisions.
It’s OK for me to look at him at times and say, “This is what we are doing, and this is how we are going to do it.” Coach’s presence is also not always a necessity for me to feel valued or validated. Don’t get me wrong; his opinion is most definitely desired and appreciated, but I don’t need him to validate me and the choices I make for our family.
I got this, and after last season, I know that.
I am enough.
In my first season, I wanted to do all the things, make all the dishes, attend all the events, and look like a trophy wife while doing it.
I know it may sound CRAZY to some of you, but it was my hope. I was running myself ragged and stressing about every little detail.
I learned that there is no right way to be a coach’s wife, and whichever way I am doing it, that way is just fine. I am enough, and it took Coach reminding me of that for me to realize its truth.
See, I told you I need him.
I have always heard coaches say, “This is way more than football” I just never thought that statement would apply to me. It’s about that time again… here’s to long seasons and lessons learned!