My Identity is Not Found in Being a “Coach’s Wife”—I Am So Much More
I love sports. It’s true. My world is a lot happier and a lot brighter with sports in it. And, football? Oh especially football. My life would be a lot duller without football.
The crisp, cool morning practices, the flicker of the stadium lights, the smell of the concession stand grills, and the cheering of the fans—those are the sounds and smells that give me chills just thinking about them.
Although I’m a coach’s wife, I don’t solely identify as so. It has taken me years to come to this place of acceptance.
I am not just a coach’s wife and that’s okay. I’m allowed to be selfish and think about myself and my other identities.
I’m a wife, a daughter, a friend, an educator, an advocate, and a fur mom.
Throughout our lives, we gain identities through experiences. I was first and foremost a daughter, then a friend, then a girlfriend/fiance/wife, then an educator and advocate, then a fur mom, and eventually a coach’s wife.
In fact, we weren’t born coaches’ wives. Crazy right?
It’s an identity we are blessed (and sometimes hesitant) to accept into our hearts.
It’s okay to be selfish sometimes and need to focus on a different identity. It’s okay to sit back and think, “I really need to take care of myself as a human being.”
It’s okay to focus on your kids. It’s okay to focus on your job. It’s okay to take time and focus on your friends.
You, my dear, are allowed to take care of yourself. You are only given one life but multiple identities, might as well take care of each.
Now, I’m not saying these identities can’t work together. In fact, when identities work together, you become more powerful as a woman. You wear multiple hats, but shouldn’t you have multiple outfits to go with these hats. Can’t one hat work well with multiple outfits?
If you ask me what my job is, I won’t say, “Coach’s wife.”
If you ask me to introduce myself, I won’t say “Mrs. Coach _______.”
There are aspects of my coach’s wife identity that have poured into my other identities and shown me new things about myself.
For example, I never knew I’d be able to make an elaborate dessert every Sunday. I never knew I’d sit through an entire game and know exactly what was going on. And, I never thought I’d end up chatting with high school boys again.
But, I don’t solely identify as a coach’s wife. I have no guilt saying I wear multiple hats in my life. Each making me, well … me!
Hey there! I’m Abby Smith. Although I consider myself to be a rookie coach’s wife-we married in 2019- and this is my fifth season with my coach.I am a middle school special education teacher with a knack for baking and creativity. Although we have no kids of our own, I like to think that each student and player is like one of ours!