Storms Came, Our House Collapsed—How I Built a Stronger Foundation

No matter who you are or where you live, the storms of life will eventually find you.

If you are lucky, you will only experience a handful of really big ones in your lifetime. But as a coach’s wife, it can feel like you aren’t even fully out of one before the next one shows up on the radar.

I don’t claim to know much about houses, but having to buy a few only to need to fix them up in hopes for a quick sell while following a job opportunity has taught me a thing or two. I’ve realized the importance of the foundation and infrastructure—with houses, but in this lifestyle as well.

In the beginning, the foundation for our marriage and coaching life was my hopes and dreams—what I wanted out of life and the things I had planned.

The structure was held up by my expectations—all I had to do was work hard and make the right decisions, then things would work out for me and remain stable. Based solely on my effort and input, I decorated the inside with titles and accomplishments. Same for coach.

Our metaphorical house was like a duplex, connected but not unified. Coaching was his thing, not mine. I could honestly do without it.

The storm of uncertainty would come after a staffing change or an unsuccessful season.

The storm of unpredictability seemed to always be hovering off the coast and could make landfall anytime and for any reason.

The storm of sheer exhaustion would slowly take over the skies as the games and seasons dragged on.

The storm of bitterness and resentment came crashing in, unexpectedly, after continuously feeling like I was facing everything all alone.

Eventually, a cloud of negativity just settled over everything. Storm after storm, I began to believe that this life was just supposed to be issue after issue, hard times after hard times. And I had no way to weatherproof the house.

It was there, with my metaphorical house stripped to bare studs, that I realized I had built it with all the wrong things.

I started over with the basics, faith became the groundwork on which everything was rebuilt. Finding a church community and reading God’s Word was the first step.

From there, I began to realize how grace (grace for coach, this lifestyle, and most importantly myself) was necessary as the support beams. It allowed me to have the patience I needed to get through the day, the season, the storm.

I also prioritized the communication system. Making sure all lines were open and in working order helped head off a lot of the issues.

Most importantly, I invited God to be the architect. Instead of picking the materials and layout that I thought would be best, I let Him guide the rebuild.

He removed the walls that separated my house from coach’s and let this coach’s wife life integrate all the rooms.

In doing all these things, our marriage and our life were rebuilt on solid, unbreakable bedrock. The structure has withstood the test of time because God designed it.

It didn’t stop the storms from coming, but it made it a lot easier to ride them out.

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