A couple of days ago I was unbuckling our oldest when she looked up at me and said, “Daddy’s never coming back.” “What?” I was so confused. Then through tear-filled eyes, she whispered, “He’s always at work.” My heart broke into a million pieces. It was true. He had just worked a 90+ hour week …
6. Bring a friend.
This is for the older ones, but bringing one of your kid's friends along is easy entertainment. Occasionally, it'll be closing in on the end of the fourth, and I'll have no idea where a kid is because they've been playing somewhere with their friend.
The sight that met me inside those doors was one I will never forget—and one I have not stopped loving since. There they were, a sea of men. Old and young, many with excellent beards, all of them wearing football apparel.
It wasn’t that bad early in his career. But, several years ago we went through a couple of tough seasons and were (ahem) “not rehired.” That event took a toll on me I never would have anticipated. Now, I have to be very intentional about managing fear and anxiety during the season – even if the season is going well.
A free communication app, sportsYou is created specifically for the needs of coaches. It gives coaches the ability to privately communicate, schedule and share media with their team. With no character limits and the ability to send one-way messages, sportsYou is the most versatile communication app for coaches to use with their team.
But I need you to know how much I love you when you are losing. I see you bring out the best you have to offer your athletes when you are losing.
So how do we figure out our season budget? Here are the tips we go by for our family, which includes twin 10-year-old girls who look at the candy in the concession stand as if they are seeing those brightly wrapped balls and ribbons of sugar for the first time every time.
It is easy to become frustrated with you when you haven’t been home for the 400th meltdown and for the 50th fight requiring a referee. It’s easy to not care about what you’ve been doing while I have been handling the home front, but I do truly care.
Always remember that I learn from the examples that I see. You are my first heroes and who I want to be when I grow up. Please set out large shoes for me to fill. I am counting on you.
The most loyal fan (besides a Coach’s Wife of course) at any athletic event is the school mascot. Rain or shine, night or day, year after year teams count on their mascots to cheer for them on the sidelines. A great mascot knows when to get the crowd going, when the team needs a boost, …
So when you come home to visit your family, don’t forget to come visit ours too. If you’re passing our house on the way out of town and you think about pulling in the driveway, do it. That bonus room in the new house is being built with you boys in mind—a place where the boys can always gather. And if you come to a game, you better give me a hug.
I share this story in hopes of being an encouragement. We all come from different backgrounds, have different interests and personalities. We know for a fact that being a coach's wife is tough much of the time, and that some of us adapt to it better than others.
I was horrified. I thought that only happened to a very small minority of coaches, particularly college coaches. I remember looking at my husband saying, “Please God, don’t ever let that be us.”
Welp, count us in. We are now survivors.
After two and a half hours of a screaming baby (who never fusses) and three other littles who weren’t following any instructions (because who wants to follow those once you are home from school), I needed a sub. I sent out my SOS text. It was met with a call.
You get the best of the man who loves the game, but cares about your character more. While most of the world sees you as wins and loses and what you did right and what you messed up, he sees the man you can become. He sees your strengths, but he also takes the time to help you improve your weaknesses.
Third, don’t get bogged down by friends or family who just don’t get it. Don’t be afraid to say no. Set your boundaries and don’t allow anyone to make you feel bad.
And I promise you, I'm in this thing, 100% – through all the wins, and all the losses. I'll take the grumpiness and the racing mind. I'll take the distractedness and the tired eyes. I'll take the long conversations about the same frustrations over and over again.
For those of you who didn’t take this approach, you understand just how important other coaches' wives are, not only to your survival, but also to your flourishing.
For those of you who maybe are doing what I did, I hope you realize you’re making the sacrifices whether you admit it or not. There is no need to deny yourself this one aspect of the lifestyle that could actually fill you up.
As someone who has seen it first hand in my home, thank you for being a positive role model for my children. We appreciate you and we love watching you become the athlete that you worked so hard to be.
Don't feel like you can't miss a game.
Guilt about missing a game is a real thing. I get it. I hate missing a game too. Being a coaching family is our life, and I feel like I am not supporting my coach if I miss a game. Here's the thing though, sometimes it's just too much. Some days, you might be completely exhausted from still trying to get the hang of having an infant, or your 7-month-old might be teething, or your toddler might have been throwing tantrums all day, and even just the thought of getting to the game is too much. Guess what? That is okay. Be honest with your coach about this, and learn the other ways you can support him – even when you are not able to be present at a game.