My first year as a head coach’s wife was filled with more learning than all the other fifteen years combined. I wasted a lot of time and energy waiting and wishing. I didn’t use the time I was given to make as big a mark as I could and should have because my focus was elsewhere.
If only MY coach had time for me like hers does. If only OUR team had that kind of fan base/support. If OUR team didn’t have the drama. If MY relationship looked like that. If MY house was designed by Joanna Gaines, THEN, then I’d have it all.
I’m not minimizing the stressors of the coaching life. They are real and they can be unique and overwhelming. What I am saying is that pointing at coaching as the blanket scapegoat for everything challenging that happens during the season can put our hearts in a dangerous spot.
So, chuck those expectations
A coach’s wife she has no mold
Just love that man and love those kids
Love Jesus and grow old.
Live in your unique freedom
To survive this crazy life
Feel free to break the mold my friend
You are a coach’s wife.
God equipped you with certain gifts, attributes, and skills to be your husband's wife, to balance him out, to meet his needs. He did not give you these gifts to impress anyone or one-up anyone or show off to anyone, but to serve others well in His name.
And maybe that means dressing up for practice. Or maybe that means just showing up looking like a hot mess so he can see the kids for a few minutes.
I kept trying to find the right combination of circumstances to make life feel and look as adventurous as those around me, but I didn’t have the same ingredients.
Comparison led me to self-pity, and my pity parties were legendary.