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Dear Future Self, When You’re a Veteran Coach’s Wife

Comparison is the thief of joy. But that new wife can’t help but compare herself to the “ideal” coach’s wife.

Veteran, you know by now that there is no true mold for a “good coach’s wife.”

But she is trying to figure out what that looks like. She may feel inadequate if she doesn’t have the time or mental space to bake cookies or cook meals for the team.

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5 Ways to Support to Your Husband During Season

There are hundreds of opportunities as coaches' wives to choose a good attitude about whatever is coming up. It could be him arriving home later than you expected, an event he forgot to tell you about, an added scrimmage or picked up game, or finding out he has to work when you thought he had off that day. The scenarios are endless, but the opportunity is the same. What will your attitude be?

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Friday Night Wife of the Week: Brittany Sloan of Marietta, GA

Each week, “Friday Night Wives” recognizes a coach’s wife by asking her the same five questions. We go through lots of submissions to find entries we think are especially encouraging or insightful. We hope this gives our readers a chance to connect with others’ through their struggles and hardships, as well as learn from someone who has come out on the other side.

Meet Brittany Sloan

1) Tell us a little bit about yourself. Who are you and what do you do?

I’m 30 originally from Spartanburg, SC and graduated from Clemson University. My husband and I have a one-year-old son and I work from home as a bookkeeper for Firehouse Subs thru a CPA firm and I am a MONAT Market Partner.

2) How many years have you been a coach’s wife and what schools have you been to?

My hubby and I have been married for 3 years and this is our 4th season together but he has been coaching for 15 or so years. He coached at Chapman High and Byrnes High school before we got married. Then we got married and moved the next day to Marietta, Ga to Walton High School and now he’s the head coach at Kell High School in the same town.

3) If you could go back in time and have a conversation with yourself as a first year coach’s wife, what’s one thing you would tell yourself?

To not let the fear of not being in one place long keep me from investing in community while I am there. I was pretty miserable our first year because we moved 2.5 hours from my friends, family, and a job I loved to a place I knew no one and a job that I hated. With of the potential of moving, and the fear that comes with that, I waited to invest in the community around me, so I felt so alone most of that first year.

4) How do you find balance between supporting your spouse and supporting yourself so that you don’t lose your mind?

Still working on this one! I think it’s changed since we had our little one, before him it was easy to take a night to myself, grab a drink with a friend or get a pedi. Since having our little guy it’s harder to find the balance in taking care of myself and my family. We spend a lot of time at the school and field to see my hubby. With the hours football season entails it’s harder to get time without feeling like we are being a burden. Right now, I am really just having to force myself to take a break and have some me time.

5) What encouragement do you have for a fellow coach’s wife who currently finds herself in a difficult season and doesn’t feel like she’s measuring up?

Know your life will not look just like anyone else’s, including other coaches’ wives, and that’s perfectly fine! Everyone one must figure out what works best for them, their marriage, and their current stage of life. You do what you can do and don’t feel down on yourself for not doing more. Find yourself a community, in and out of the football world! Know where your entire identity and purpose come from and cling to that.

** If you have a wife you’d like to nominate as our FNW Wife of the Week, please email Lindsey at lnipaver@bellsouth.net **

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To the Bare-Minimum Coach’s Wife, You’re Fine

Look, we’re all in this business together, and though we need support, we have to realize that everyone has different versions of it. Some people need to relate to others in the game; some find solace with friends who are far removed. I would rather spend my extra time with my family in one room, laughing and watching our kids wrestling each other, than plan a party that coaches and their families feel obligated to attend.  

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