I am a Seven. If you are familiar with the Enneagram, you’ll know that I tend to be bubbly, carefree, and lively. To be more specific, I am a Seven with a six wing, which means I serve up my spontaneity with a side of anxiety. In short, I sidestep pain, negativity, and unpleasant …
Most of us know what we want to do: use that big love to defend and protect our coach!
But what does that look like? Should we call out those who are actually at fault? Tell the bleacher coaches they have no idea what they are talking about and to zip it? Highlight the inequalities? Underscore the unfairness?
Most of the time we are silent partners in this deal, but we have to ask ourselves: are there times when enough is enough?
He doesn’t have favorites. He’s not purposely or viciously not playing your kid. There’s more than just pure talent that goes into making that decision. Attitude and effort go a lot further than you think. He doesn’t have it out for your kid. He is simply trying to teach them there are consequences for actions and teamwork will always take them further in life than selfish ambition.
Whatever conversation others may have with me in hopes I will share with my husband, will NEVER get to him! The coach’s spouse is often treated like a side door into the coach’s office. No, we don’t know what our husband is going to do about playing time. No, I don’t know our husband is going to handle your child missing practice. No, I don’t know why freshmen are playing more than the upperclassmen.
I leave decisions about strategy, game plan, and playing time up to my husband and the rest of the staff. When coaches are pressured by fans and parents to win, or simply motivated by their own egos, our players and programs lose.
You see, we are the fans in the stands. We are the ones questioning every play, screaming that the one in charge must not know what He's doing. We are the ones not trusting the process.
I look for her now. I’ll glance at the stands and see if she’s there. She’s forever my reminder that supporting the ones we love is the only reason any of us should be there. I try to take her enthusiasm, authenticity, and gratitude and tuck it into my soul, remember there is something about love that gets amplified by sports.
And I'm not here to defend the actions or play-calling of every coach. We've been in the business long enough to know not all coaches are good coaches. There are bad ones, and maybe one of them happens to be standing on your sidelines. But man, there are a heck of a lot of really good ones, too, and even those aren't immune to the name-calling and criticism that's lobbed from the stands in their direction.