Not that I’ve ever been accused of being too dramatic before or anything, but when I hear a song about heartache and breakups, I think of all the people and places that I’ve loved before. There’s a saying, “friends come and go.” But if you’re a coach’s wife, it’s most likely you are the one …
This summer we moved and I liked the town we were in. By some miracle of miracles, I had ended up in a tiny little football community that just happened to also be the hometown of one of my best friends. My connection to her meant that I got connected to everyone and everything fast. …
Let us be open, not overbearing. Let us be eager, not ego-filled. Let us be quiet, not condemning. Let us be close, not close-minded. Let us be ourselves.
Let us be the very best part of being coaches’ wives—by being a part of a community, not a clique.
I didn’t know Coach’s role would change unexpectedly and shake up our lives drastically. But some of you had experienced that before.
I didn’t know that we would watch each sport shut down, one-by-one. But even when the stadiums emptied, there you were.
Some lost seasons. Some lost jobs. Many wrestled with their mental health and moves and the new normal. But we didn’t face these things alone. But we figured it out together.
As another season is upon us, many couples are working out their roles in a new staff or, like us, have experienced a change in family dynamic (thank God our babies were actually born in the off-season).
To the head coaches and their wives: I beg of you to consider your staff. Each member.
“I don’t want you to help me! NO! NO! Don’t touch it!” she screamed as she aggressively jammed the “outie” part of the zipper against the “innie” part of the zipper over and over and over again to no avail. “Charlee, we have to go. Let’s make a good choice. Would you rather get frustrated and …
I found myself counting their blessings rather than my own. The sour attitude I had was causing a ripple effect throughout all parts of my life.
Do you find yourself lonely, even in the midst of busy stadiums and gymnasiums? Do you know too much about school politics? Do you sit on the visitors’ side instead of the home stands? Do you wonder what a parent’s motivation might be when they initiate friendship?
My Dad sacrificed time with his own children to help raise others, but what I hope he knows is that I and my sister were watching and learning how important it is to love those around you and show that love through action.
Thank you for your support. In the midst of a lot of unknowns, you were there! You offered great advice and answered every question. Trust me, I had a lot of them. Your unwavering support to welcome and assist my family in this new time was a blessing.
So, chuck those expectations
A coach’s wife she has no mold
Just love that man and love those kids
Love Jesus and grow old.
Live in your unique freedom
To survive this crazy life
Feel free to break the mold my friend
You are a coach’s wife.
These are the things that define a true tribe. Just because we haven’t had the chance to take that perfect picture of us sitting together in the stands in awhile, doesn’t make us any less of a tribe.
These are the things that define a true tribe. Just because we haven’t had the chance to take that perfect picture of us sitting together in the stands in awhile, doesn’t make us any less of a tribe.
So, to the new wife who’s learning to cope, to the one trying to dye her socks pink, to the one bleaching her pink socks white, and to the new mom with a 6-day-old determining if she should go to the game … I’m right here with you. Reach out; make the connection; I’ll accept you just as you are, as God tells us to. No judgment, no make-up either – because girl, I ain’t got time for that.
For those of you who didn’t take this approach, you understand just how important other coaches' wives are, not only to your survival, but also to your flourishing.
For those of you who maybe are doing what I did, I hope you realize you’re making the sacrifices whether you admit it or not. There is no need to deny yourself this one aspect of the lifestyle that could actually fill you up.
Choose the tribe member you know will help you see the bigger picture, not the one ready to pile on more muck. While a mud bath can be a good thing for your pores in the short term, it does very little other than make you stink if it stays on too long.
Near or far, a coaches’ wives tribe is one of the most amazing parts of this crazy coaching life. I’m so thankful friendship is not defined by distance. This life has connected me with some of the most inspiring, talented, and thoughtful women in my circles of influence, and I know my life is better for knowing all of these amazing ladies.
