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When You Are Worn Out and Bone-Tired, Count On the Promises You Made

Being a coach’s wife is rarely ever fair ladies, in the trenches of any season, in the midst of early childhood years when every need relies on you, or even if it’s only you and your man—it is rarely fair. Nevertheless, every good football coach will tell you to never leave the game in the hand of the ref—don’t count on fair.

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26 Hilariously Awesome School Mascots

The most loyal fan (besides a Coach’s Wife of course) at any athletic event is the school mascot. Rain or shine, night or day, year after year teams count on their mascots to cheer for them on the sidelines. A great mascot knows when to get the crowd going, when the team needs a boost, and how to entertain the fans during timeouts.

All this hard work is often overlooked. So we thought we’d take a minute to say thanks to all the Lions, Rams, Tigers, Panthers, Bears, and Pioneers. You’re Great! We appreciate you.

However, today we’re giving an extra shout out to the mascots that are especially memorable for many reasons.

Rocky Ford, CO: Meloneers

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Fun Fact: The school phrase is “Fear the Melon.”

Chinook, MT: Sugarbeeters

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Fun Fact: The Mascot’s name is “Shug.”

Hutto, TX: Hippos

Fun Fact: Legend has it this mascot was chosen when a hippo escaped from a circus train.

Winters, TX: Blizzards

Fun Fact: Winters, TX rarely sees snow … much less a blizzard.

New Braunfels, TX: Unicorns

Fun Fact: This mascot is actually the result of a misunderstanding. According to kwnewbraunfels.com, the unicorn was originally taken from a coat of arms of Prince Carl of Solms-Braunfels. They thought the arms depicted a blue unicorn in a gold field. However, it was later discovered it was not a unicorn, but in fact a lion. I guess there was no turning back.

Hamlin, TX: Hamlin HS Pied Pipers

Fun Fact: The school often chooses to shorten their name to the Pipers and uses an H as their logo rather than their mascot. Could it be the rats?

Cuero, TX: Gobblers

Fun Fact: Cuero won the 2018 state championship, with star Jordan Whittington breaking the state rushing record that had been set by Eric Dickerson in 1978.

San Antonio, TX: Central Catholic Mighty Buttons

Fun Fact: We don’t get it either. But head basketball coach Joe Cortez boasts ten state championships, so the buttons really must be MIGHTY.

Amarillo, TX: Sandies

Fun Fact: The cheerleaders hold up signs during games that say “Blow.” We suppose sand in the eye would make it hard to compete.

Hoopeston, IL: Cornjerkers

Fun Fact: Cornjerking is a harvesting process also called corn snapping, corn shucking, or corn husking. Intimidating, huh?

Frankfort, IN: Hot Dogs

Fun Fact: The maximum weight of a Dachshund is around 32 pounds.

Logansport, IN: Berries

Fun Fact: Despite having Felix the Cat as their official mascot and logo throughout academic and athletic programs, the moniker of Logansport High School’s athletic teams is the Loganberries, which is a pun on the city’s name. The loganberry is a hybrid of a blackberry and a red raspberry. The basketball gymnasium at Logansport High School is named the Berry Bowl. 

San Jose, CA: Bellarmine College Preparatory School Bellarmine Bells

Fun Fact: This prep school, whose mascot is a huge angry bell, happens to be an all boys school.

Priddy, TX: Pirates

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Fun Fact: Why yes, they are the Priddy Pirates 😉

Bay St. Louis, MS: St. Stanislaus Rock-A-Chaws 

Fun Fact: A Rock-A-Chaw is a sand spur. For context for us Northers, a sand spur is a weed.

Cleveland, MS: Delta State Fighting Okra

Fun Fact: According to Wikipedia, “The ‘Fighting Okra’ grew out of humor among students about the improbability that anyone would find a Statesman’ particularly frightening. In the mid-1990s, a student vote was taken, resulting in the university taking on ‘The Fighting Okra’ as an unofficial mascot.”

Columbia, MO: Kewpie Naked Babies

Fun Fact: A Kewpie is a character that was drawn in a comic strip to teach people to be merry and kind at the same time. It was a cutesy, genderless version of Cupid, with wings on its shoulders, starfish hands, and a head that comes to a point called a topknot.

New Berlin, IL: Pretzels

Fun Fact: According to Theo Nust, a beloved member of the New Berlin community, the mascot was born out of a story from a basketball tournament in the 1920’s when some of players began throwing pretzels at one another.

Itasca, TX: Wampus Cat

Fun Fact: There are actually 6 high schools who claim this mascot, which is explained to be “an undefined imaginary animal.

Poca, WV: Poca Dots

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Fun Fact: While the original mascot was actually a Native American riding a horse, they are most commonly known as the “Dots.” They were first referred to as the ‘Poca Dots’ in 1928 during a storming football game when a reporter said, “They look like a bunch of red polka dots running around the field!”

Robstown, TX: Cotton Pickers

Fun Fact: The community is proud of their rich history and how they provided for themselves, including picking cotton.

Key West, FL: Conchs

Fun Fact: Key West locals are also called Conchs.

Perkins-Tryon Public Schools, OK  Demons

Fun Fact: We appreciate one coach’s motto: “Fight! Finish! Faith! And Go Demons!”

Martinsville, IN: Artesians

Fun Fact: Artesians are spring bath houses.

Pender, NE: Pendragons

Fun Fact: Pendragon is also the last name of legendary King Arthur.

Omaha, NE: Mighty Bunnies

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Fun Fact: We’re not exactly sure why Benson chose this mascot, but legend has it that when the school was built, it was built atop a hill full of bunnies. We’ll just be over here trying to decide which is mightier: a bunny or a button.

You Might Be a Coach’s Wife If …

We asked. You answered. And then we picked some of our favorites to share! So without further ado…

You might be a coach’s wife if …

Your kid has a “tab” in the concession stand! (Brie Engle Corlew)

The cops show up to investigate a “suspicious” car at your home post-football season because your new neighbors moved in during football season and aren’t familiar with your coach’s work schedule. (Amanda Trichel)

When your OB/GYN lets you know your possible conception date happened to fall on your team’s off weekend. #allthreekids  #istayawayfromhimnowonthoseweekends (JD Doty)

You don’t have a first name.. it’s “Coach _____’s wife.” (Amy Jo Noonan)

You lose half your wardrobe when you move. (Carissa Bentley Hays)

You routinely wash pens, cough drops, paper and chapstick in the washer. #checkyourpockets (Hannah Crowledge)

You know that when he says he is doing laundry, it does not mean any laundry at your own house is getting done. (Nikki Chandler)

He tells you practice ends at 730, he’ll be home by 830, and you automatically add 3.5 hours on top of that. (Jamie Meifu)

You schedule all major family events around football season, including but not limited to vacations, weddings, and the birth of your children! (Huellen Watson)

You have driven to the field house one million times for forgotten things. (Celia Quin De Monte)

You can spot a coach in a crowded restaurant based on their “coaching gear.” (Amy Touchstone)

You get to watch Bravo with no complaints from August to December. (Abby Baker)

You have to explain to people visiting your home that you haven’t had a chance to vacuum and that the black pellets aren’t rat droppings, just rubberized pellets from the indoor practice field. (Chelsea Pickett Middleton)

You stop at random football stadiums while on vaca because he sees the lights. (Stacey Massey McCartney).

When you cringe everytime your husband calls or texts in May because you fear the words….”I applied at”. (Sharla Strickland)

Your 3 year old sees her daddy and says, “ DADDY! You came to visit me!” (Kim Ward)

You physically bite a hole in your tongue when someone compares your husband being a coach to their husband volunteering to coach a peewee sport. (Sara Hudler)

If you know the difference between huddle and Hudl and have your own login. (Leslie Andrews)

The only family photos you take are for the football program or after football games! (Elisha Henley Watkins)

You’ve ever faked being asleep on Friday night at home after a loss. (Emily Beaird Lansdell)

There’s a cowbell in your purse. (Robin Bankston Wheat)

Your yard looks like you have left your home and abandoned it. (Cynthia Hulsey)

If date night consists of scouting on Thursday Night games and during bye-weeks. (Danielle Sherrie’ Harold)

You know more about strength and conditioning than you apply to daily life. (Christa Johnson)

Your entire clothing wardrobe solely matches your husband’s team colors…and the thought of wearing any other colors, causes fear that you may curse the teams season. (Carrie Helms)

You’ve considered buying stock in U-Haul. (Kayla Woods McClendon)

Your 2-year-old calls the fieldhouse “daddy’s house.” (Brooke Reed)

Catch Part 2 Here!