Look, we’re all in this business together, and though we need support, we have to realize that everyone has different versions of it. Some people need to relate to others in the game; some find solace with friends who are far removed. I would rather spend my extra time with my family in one room, laughing and watching our kids wrestling each other, than plan a party that coaches and their families feel obligated to attend.
Yes, football and being a football family requires physical demands and emotional commitments from everyone involved. There are so many lonely dinners and difficult bath times. There are so many rushed labor-day cookouts and daddy-less trick-or-treats. There are so many tears from kids who miss their daddies -- and occasionally from mamas missing them too. Because there may not be crying in baseball, but believe me, there is crying in football. A lot of crying.
But most of those tears are the good kind.
It was there, with my metaphorical house stripped to bare studs, that I realized I had built it with all the wrong things.
I started over with the basics, faith became the groundwork on which everything was rebuilt. Finding a church community and reading God’s Word was the first step.
From there, I began to realize how grace (grace for coach, this lifestyle, and most importantly myself) was necessary as the support beams. It allowed me to have the patience I needed to get through the day, the season, the storm.
So if my peace is dependent upon my own performance, my own success, my own character, my own children, my own circumstances, then I will NEVER FIND IT. Because none of those things will ever be up to par. None of those things will ever feel ENOUGH.
I’m not minimizing the stressors of the coaching life. They are real and they can be unique and overwhelming. What I am saying is that pointing at coaching as the blanket scapegoat for everything challenging that happens during the season can put our hearts in a dangerous spot.
It’s here I’ve grieved the loss of a best friend and fellow football coach.
It’s here I’ve watched teams rally together and beat teams they had no business beating. I watched them show heart and courage that inspires me to be better.
It’s here I’ve celebrated being engaged.
It’s here I've gotten my first look at wedding photos in an unexpected email.
It’s here I’ve learned how to cook from my tribe of coaches wives.
It’s here I’ve cried on the shoulders of friends, family, my tribe, and coach friends for the loss of my grandparents.
My husband left this morning at 5 am, and I don’t expect him back until 9:30 tonight. It’s here. The season of long hours and long weeks, visits to practices and field houses, losing tupperware and losing utensils and losing my patience. Football season is upon us, wives, but I have something to tell you. …