Two years ago, we experienced our third move. I know that’s not many in the coaching world, but it was three more than I ever wanted. Even after processing the first two, figuring out what we did right, what we did wrong, how we could transition better in the future, and what slowed our acceptance …
Not that I’ve ever been accused of being too dramatic before or anything, but when I hear a song about heartache and breakups, I think of all the people and places that I’ve loved before. There’s a saying, “friends come and go.” But if you’re a coach’s wife, it’s most likely you are the one …
There are usually a few weeks to months after the season ends, where you don’t know if you should plan your future at your current school and town or if you need to start preparing your heart and home to leave. After almost two decades in this life, I can count on one hand the …
During one of our early seasons that didn’t end with a good record, the Athletic Director told the entire coaching staff that they needed to “fix it” or they’d all be gone. This was only our second season at this school, so it was difficult to embrace the “fix it” logic since my coach didn’t …
When a coach takes a new job, the headlines always read how a new coach takes over a new program. The average fan, even the most avid fan, reads that literally. They instantly assume the program will change under new leadership. However, being a coaching family, when I see the headline about a new coach …
One of the hardest parts of this coaching life, that I’ve found at least, is letting go of the illusion of control. From our schedule, to where we live, to who we find next to us as other coach’s wives, we have a say in very few decisions. We have to be willing to give …
“How are you liking it here?” This simple question can bring up a lot of emotions for a coach’s wife, especially if she’s recently moved. The word home, to most, has a straightforward definition. It’s where you choose to live, or it’s where you’re from. To the luckiest, it’s both of those. But for most …
This summer we moved and I liked the town we were in. By some miracle of miracles, I had ended up in a tiny little football community that just happened to also be the hometown of one of my best friends. My connection to her meant that I got connected to everyone and everything fast. …
It’s the same story, a different day. You and your coach have discussed this during pillow talk, but it becomes real when the local news pushes it out. The head coach gets fired, and you already know deep down that it will be your reality soon. That’s just how it goes. For us, it has …
I am not a hoarder. In fact, I love the purging process. I guess in that regard God wired me to thrive in this crazy life. But there’s one thing I’m not ready to give up…my moving boxes. Babies have security blankets; I guess I have security boxes. I never even considered that I’d live a …
I’ve never moved for a job and I’ve never moved for my husband’s job before. I know people do it all the time, across all career levels and different fields. Before this year we’ve always taken jobs that were near our home base. So when my husband got a call to be an Offensive Coordinator …
I have always found it frustrating to not get to where I want to be, with new friends, with the new house, in the new community, immediately. I also fall victim to always comparing my brand new beginning to the well developed ending that just occurred. I’ve learned that I need to be patient and realistic. It takes time to get where I would like to be, usually years.
Yes, we are moving Lord, but You are already there, just as You are here. It is such a comfort that we cannot escape the cover of Your love, no matter how far we move.
You'll realize that to do it the right way, to be the best possible coach's wife (and person), the one that the community and school deserve, it's going to cost you a piece of your heart.
I’m writing this as a gentle reminder that all of us have been there. We’ve all been the New Wife -- the one no one knows. And sadly, some of us have even been the New Wife that no one ever knows… the one that no one ever reaches out to before the transient nature of the football life has its way with us, and we move on to our next location and our next potential football family.
But there is a difference between being familiar with a community and feeling at home isn’t there? Familiarity allows us a certain level of safety, but when we are at home we can rest.
It may be bittersweet, but sometimes change opens up a whole new happiness for you that you weren’t anticipating.
That’s the beautiful thing about dreams and plans.
God knows our hearts, and he knows what is best for us. He knows that while some of us thrive in structure, our lists can also create false permission to establish boundaries and limit ourselves where more significant opportunities are possible.
I promised myself I’d never let that happen again, that even if I knew I’d only be somewhere for a short time, I would trust that God had planted me there “for such a time as this” and jump in with both feet and a whole heart to the new life he had for me, in that exact place, for that exact moment.
We’ve only moved a few times in our twenty years of coaching, but those moves have been what I define as major moves. We moved from the suburbs north of Chicago, IL, to a southern IL farming community that had two stoplights and one grocery store. Our next move took us fourteen hours east to …
