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move a lot this is what i know lessons learned

Lessons Learned from a Transient Coach’s Wife

I have always found it frustrating to not get to where I want to be, with new friends, with the new house, in the new community, immediately. I also fall victim to always comparing my brand new beginning to the well developed ending that just occurred. I’ve learned that I need to be patient and realistic. It takes time to get where I would like to be, usually years.

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To the New Wife on the Staff (And the Wives Welcoming Her)

I’m writing this as a gentle reminder that all of us have been there. We’ve all been the New Wife -- the one no one knows. And sadly, some of us have even been the New Wife that no one ever knows… the one that no one ever reaches out to before the transient nature of the football life has its way with us, and we move on to our next location and our next potential football family.

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we've all been that family

Because We All Have to be “The New Family”

We’ve only moved a few times in our twenty years of coaching, but those moves have been what I define as major moves. We moved from the suburbs north of Chicago, IL, to a southern IL farming community that had two stoplights and one grocery store. Our next move took us fourteen hours east to the Appalachian mountains. From there, we moved to Central IL. We live three blocks from the University of Illinois. 

That’s right, friends. After sixteen long years, we’re back in an area with Costco, Aldi, Panera, Target, and an actual mall just around the corner!!! The first day we woke up in our new home in Central IL, I realized we didn’t have anything for breakfast, so I ran to the local Meijer. I spent a good five minutes crying in the produce department before the stock boy asked me if I was okay. 

“Me? Oh, I’m fine. I’m just happy and completely overwhelmed.”

It’s HarD to be “the New Family” in town Again

When trying to decide whether we should move, we’ve always tried to obey God’s leading. Each job has different pros and cons, but we learned very early in our marriage that the most important part of any community is the people. The rest is simply icing on the cake but that icing is often difficult to spread around evenly.

When You Move You Need to Start Over

As the new family we start over with a new school to cheer for and a new house to turn into a home. But the changes extend well beyond that. We have to find new doctors, stores, gas stations, schools, churches, clubs, affinity groups, and anything else you need to make your new community work for your entire family. 

Starting Over Includes Learning New Traditions

One of our favorite things about living in very different parts of the country is how many community traditions our kids have learned through the years. We’ve eagerly participated in Apple Days, Dairy Days, and Fourth of July parades. We’ve watched the lemon drop at midnight on December 31st. We’ve hunted down free lemonade on Lemonade days and attended the Lemonade Festival. 

Our kids have hiked the Southern IL Garden of the Gods and the Southwest Virginia Cascade Falls. They’ve tasted shrimp and grits, fried okra, and compared St. Louis style pizza to Chicago style pizza. They’ve explored museums and zoos all over the country from Kansas City to Minneapolis to North Carolina. 

It’s been wonderful, and exhausting. When you’re always learning new traditions it’s difficult to establish reliable family traditions. Sometimes you just need a community to feel like home. 

You Can Help Wives Feel Like a Local 

You know that feeling you get when you’re driving around your new community without Google Maps for the first time? You feel like a local. You know where things are located! You that feeling you get when you just pull into the gas station without second-guessing if you picked the “right” one? 

Did you miss park district sign-ups this year? Not on our watch! We’ve got you covered because we’re creating the Ultimate Coaches’ Wives Resource for Families who Move into a Community

But we cannot do this without YOU!!!

We’VE Created A Resource Map

We’ve developed a map that we will build out by regions within states. We’re going to feature the most common things you need to know about each area.

  • Kids Activities
  • What are the best regional hospitals, schools, stores, and coaches’ wives restaurant recommendations
  • Which coaches’ wives are in our Market Place by region
  • Something important and unique to know about this region

Fill out this form to contribute

LOVE LETTER TO THE CURRENT OWNERS OF MY FUTURE HOUSE

Love Letter to the Current Owners of My Future House

I can hear my voice calling out to my son playing in the summer heat in the backyard way past his bedtime.

I can feel the rush of excitement when my stepson and stepdaughter run up the brick steps, fling open the front door at Thanksgiving Break, and call out to us, “we’re home!”

And I know because my family will feel at home here, that I will be just fine starting over too. 

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moving family job decision placement

Unpopular Opinion: We Don’t Always Go Places Because God Led Us There

Just like our brother Jonah, we go places we're not supposed to go because we're human and want to do our own thing. Discernment and wisdom are of God, and when we feel anxious about a move, it can be fear of the unknown OR it can be divine insight.

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