I pray he remembers he has a wife who has his back (sometime maybe too much), no matter what. I am strong enough to be a coach’s wife.
But we are not single parents. Because tonight, even it’s really late, even if I'm already in bed and my eyes are already closed, at some point my husband will slide into bed and inch his body near; I'll feel his fingers slip into mine. And I'll sleep a little deeper knowing he's home.
Can we live without sports? Yes, of course. We did that for a time. But, if we learned anything from last season, it’s that this is more than just a game.
A couple of days ago I was unbuckling our oldest when she looked up at me and said, “Daddy’s never coming back.” “What?” I was so confused. Then through tear-filled eyes, she whispered, “He’s always at work.” My heart broke into a million pieces. It was true. He had just worked a 90+ hour week …
One day, I will look back at this. I will reminisce with my husband about the days we are living right now.
We are partners in ife. For us, that life includes football and all it entails. Please know, Coach, just because you are in-season, that doesn’t mean my needs are put on hold. I don’t need less of your time or attention. I don’t need less of your focus or your love. I don’t need less physical closeness and intimacy.
Because they love those kids and they love their jobs, they sometimes get going so fast they can’t keep up―and that’s where the pacesetter becomes valuable. For many families, that pacesetter is you.
Even if we don’t get to play a single down, students will still need our husbands. They will need them for stability, leadership, and discipline. They will watch to see how they handle the disappointment of a missed season. What better time to teach them, by example, that circumstances can take your happiness but it can’t take your joy. Joy comes from the Lord, not the world.
I knew it would be sad to lose a game. Or many games. Losing is never fun. Sure there would be sad times. But I didn’t know that we would always keep disappointment in tow. As a coach’s wife disappointment follows you like a flatbed truck and manifests itself in so many ways that can be hard to breathe.
It’s okay if you’re mourning the loss of something you’ve worked really hard for (like so many of our coaches are currently doing). You’re allowed to mourn.
Our family is a coaching family. I will never again question that. If and when sports go back to normal, I am not saying I won’t complain when coach isn’t home to help force my 4-year-old into the bathtub, but I will know what it’s like on the other side, the side without sports.
In this unprecedented time of uncertainty, that is the one thing of which I am sure. Even if you don’t step on that field again, your senior season matters.
After wrestling with these lies in increasing measure over the course of these changing seasons, I’ve finally heard the truth so clearly: this is a season. This is a season, and I am still serving, still supporting, just in a very different capacity.
But I need you to know how much I love you when you are losing. I see you bring out the best you have to offer your athletes when you are losing.
So how do we figure out our season budget? Here are the tips we go by for our family, which includes twin 10-year-old girls who look at the candy in the concession stand as if they are seeing those brightly wrapped balls and ribbons of sugar for the first time every time.
It is easy to become frustrated with you when you haven’t been home for the 400th meltdown and for the 50th fight requiring a referee. It’s easy to not care about what you’ve been doing while I have been handling the home front, but I do truly care.
While the numbers may not sound promising, God's faithfulness does. And hearing other people's stories about trying to conceive helps you feel less alone. Because this is a story so many of us share.
As these blessings outpour onto the fields, accept them with open arms. Embrace the joy of your team’s emotional journey to where they are at that moment. It is all worth it at the end. It is a blessing from the battlefield.
We were given this season to love and support a group of young men that have shown us their true character. Character that is revealed through adversity, and these athletes demonstrated tremendous character in the way they prepared and competed every week.
Here’s to binge-watching Bravo and watching his location so we can do a mad-dash-cleanup just before he drags his bones through the back door long after dark.