Tag: spouse

May 4, 2021

Coach, This I Can (and Can’t) Promise You

I can promise you I will go wherever you go, stay wherever you stay, and your people will be my people. I will put in the extra work to get our family settled and make the new place feel like home. I will be open and flexible to wherever this journey takes us.

I can’t promise you I won’t doubt it, complain about it and/or be about upset it. I can’t promise that the thought of having to start over again won’t frustrate me. I also won’t be able to stay off of Zillow, searching for houses, even with only a mention of a potential job opening.

April 20, 2021

When My Husband Brings “Coach” into Our Marriage

But nothing and I mean nothing, would get my goat like that handsome, brown-eyed man pointing his finger at me, raising his voice to that disappointed, irritated coach tone and speak condescendingly to me like I just ran the wrong route even after we drilled and drilled it in practice.

April 6, 2021

When a Coach Gets Married, Here are What the Vows SHOULD Be

I, Mr. Coach, promise to:

Recognize that this woman is an actual superhero and treat her as such
When she is sad just hold her, don’t coach her
Make a valiant effort to not wait until the last minute to ask for something
Brag about her to my friends
Get her swag asap, especially at a new school
In a spare moment, keep the kids and send her out on her own
Remember that she is the one who is still there when the lights go out and the career is done
Love on my kids after wins AND losses
Consider that your career moves are her moves too
Find her before talking to the media
Recognize that I am a better coach because she is by my side

March 1, 2021

I Used to Wish He Had a Normal Job—COVID Changed My Mind

But then the games stopped. Sports and this lifestyle came to a screeching halt. Suddenly, he was home all the time.

February 26, 2021

Dear Lord, Are You Sure This Guy is My Coach/Husband?

I have loved him through the perfect, undefeated, state championship seasons, the heartbreak of great competitive losses, and the fickleness of high school athletics. After years of learning how to accept that he’s perfectly alright with doing NOTHING for literally H O U R S at a time except watching game after game, he began more than one morning of this holiday break with something like, “Babe, which of your projects would you like me to help you with today?”

December 8, 2020

Dear Coach, A Little Help Buying a Gift for Your Wife

In case you are eyeball deep in a playoff run, constantly scrolling Football Scoop, about to start coaching yet another sport, or already looking at next year’s prospects, let me remind you that it is already December. This means your amazing, remarkable, beautiful, intelligent, epic wife/fiance/girlfriend is soon to need some gifts that match her amazing-ness.

October 27, 2020

Learning the Tension of Being Fully Independent and Fully Supportive

The coach’s wife life is this wild dichotomy of having your life (from your daily schedule to your entire future) be dependent upon someone else, their dreams and performance. But at the same time, in order to survive and thrive in it, you must learn to be independent from that person and function solo a large majority of the time.

September 30, 2020

Dear Husband, As We Enter Our First Season Together

And then there are the days when I want nothing more than to support you but I have nothing to give. I am physically exhausted, mentally spent, and I think if I hear one more spiel about offensive strategy or next week's opponent I will pull my hair out. Those days are hard.

September 29, 2020

Your Marriage isn’t Hard Because You Married a Coach—It’s Hard Because You Got Married

Maybe changes need to be made. Maybe priorities and boundaries need to be set or straightened or reorganized. But also? Maybe your needs aren't being met by your husband because they were never supposed to be.

March 11, 2020

I Married a Coach; and Romance Looks a Bit Different for Us

I looked up from my phone as the car made one last slow turn to find myself at Fredericksburg High School’s football stadium. It’s the third stadium we have seen on this trip having turned off the highway twice to “check out the facilities.” Romance, ladies, with a capital R.

January 27, 2020

Dear Coach, Save Some of Yourself for Me

I hate this feeling of distance, like you're holding me at arms length, even if it's just to protect me. Protect me from issues at work. Protect me from hard stories. Protect me from the anxieties racing through your head.

November 20, 2019

I Vow to Always Kiss You if I’m Awake When You Come Home … and Other In-Season Vows

It is easy to become frustrated with you when you haven’t been home for the 400th meltdown and for the 50th fight requiring a referee. It’s easy to not care about what you’ve been doing while I have been handling the home front, but I do truly care.

July 30, 2019

5 Ways to Support to Your Husband During Season

There are hundreds of opportunities as coaches' wives to choose a good attitude about whatever is coming up. It could be him arriving home later than you expected, an event he forgot to tell you about, an added scrimmage or picked up game, or finding out he has to work when you thought he had off that day. The scenarios are endless, but the opportunity is the same. What will your attitude be?

July 25, 2019

I Gave Him the Green Light

Could he do this job without my blessing? Yes. But, when I give him my blessing and fully 100% support him, does it make his job easier? Absolutely. And when his job is made easier, does he dedicate himself a little more? Stay at practice a little later? Have a little less weight on his shoulders? I sure hope so.

February 28, 2019

For Love of the Game … and For the Wife Not Feeling It

I share this story in hopes of being an encouragement. We all come from different backgrounds, have different interests and personalities. We know for a fact that being a coach's wife is tough much of the time, and that some of us adapt to it better than others.

February 20, 2019

The Coach’s Wife Inside Me is Coming Out—and I Had No Idea She Was There

The rye grass on the baseball field has just started to turn green, and every day I ride by the field and think to myself, “Man, what a field! That Coach is killing it this year.” This is coming from a woman who has zero flowers planted in her yard. Don’t get me wrong, Coach has our yard looking great but it’s nothing compared to what that man can do to a ballfield. Not to mention I actually called it “rye grass.” Who am I?

February 12, 2019

Love Languages (Coaching Style)

When we are better for each other we are better for our families, our children, and the athletes and communities we serve. It’s a pretty good investment that can pump out an exponential return.

January 28, 2019

The Three (Other) Words My Coach Loves to Hear

Two days a week when I kiss my husband good-bye in the morning, I say three words. In the midst of twins, backpacks, lunch boxes, school papers and jackets, I say these words. As he tries to go get out of the house on time directing my twin girls out the door, I say these words.

October 21, 2018

Dear Husband, Now That You’re Back

Suddenly, I have a teammate. And this teammate wants a say in things. (The nerve.) I buck against this relinquishing of control every single year. I hold it close to my chest, tight-fisted, wondering why you don't trust me, why you don't respect me, thinking, "Don't you REALIZE I'm fully capable of doing this on my own? Don't you REALIZE I've been doing it on my own for months?"

October 15, 2018

Coaches’ Wives, We Are Not Single Moms

As awkward as that moment was, it was a reality check. Even though the season severely limits my husband’s time with our children, I am not a single parent. My friend reminded me it is worth the extra work to include Ordell in as many parenting decisions as possible even in the height of the craziest seasons.