What can I do instead of clouding my judgment with more mental clutter and endless to do lists? I can breathe. Have grace. Pray, love and be present. If it takes me 4 months to get my house in order following the season, then let it be. It is easier said than done, I know.
We don’t have TIME for this struggle, too. It’s so isolating. It’s hard to find time to talk to coach about it—our schedules rarely sync enough for more than goodnight hugs and kisses. In the isolation our worries grow bigger.
After a year of heartbreak, I went into this season emotionally and physically drained. I was working full time and trying to expand our family and I had reached my limit. I had nothing to give to football season. I did not want to socialize or cheer; I didn’t want to answer questions about how we were doing because, honestly, it wasn’t good.
But that phrase reminds me that yes, while I am struggling -- absolutely, positively, no-doubt-about-it struggling -- that doesn't mean I'm failing. I've gotten some points on the board. Not as many as I'd like, but some.