Look, we’re all in this business together, and though we need support, we have to realize that everyone has different versions of it. Some people need to relate to others in the game; some find solace with friends who are far removed. I would rather spend my extra time with my family in one room, laughing and watching our kids wrestling each other, than plan a party that coaches and their families feel obligated to attend.
I didn’t know Coach’s role would change unexpectedly and shake up our lives drastically. But some of you had experienced that before.
I didn’t know that we would watch each sport shut down, one-by-one. But even when the stadiums emptied, there you were.
Some lost seasons. Some lost jobs. Many wrestled with their mental health and moves and the new normal. But we didn’t face these things alone. But we figured it out together.
Most of us know what we want to do: use that big love to defend and protect our coach!
But what does that look like? Should we call out those who are actually at fault? Tell the bleacher coaches they have no idea what they are talking about and to zip it? Highlight the inequalities? Underscore the unfairness?
Most of the time we are silent partners in this deal, but we have to ask ourselves: are there times when enough is enough?
So, while it is important to cheer for others, don’t forget to treat yourself the way you treat others. Give yourself grace, recognize that perfection isn’t the goal, and don’t ever give up.
The field house is home. I don’t know why we pay utility bills during the fall, because we are hardly home to use water and electricity. My husband puts more hours in at the field house than I see him in our own home.
When your unranked team faces a top ten team—hope sees the underdog come out on top.
When your team has never beaten a certain opponent—hope brings the game to end that losing streak.
When you are facing your cross-town rival in your State Championship—hope makes that unexpected victory so much sweeter.
You see her at every game. She’s usually the one with all the kids, and the stuff, and dragging in right at kickoff because something always seems to happen on Friday evening right when she needs to leave.
Thank you for teaching your athlete to respect their coach. To try their hardest in school and at practice. If there is a concern, thank you for teaching your child to come to coach instead of badmouthing to peers.
But what if there is an answer that we could look towards to help calm nerves and anxieties, as the unknowns start to play out before us within the next month.
Football is the reason we’re brought together, to cheer on the game and its players, but it takes on life because of the surroundings—I am moved by the music, join in with the cheerleaders, become gracious in a win, remain respectful in a loss, join in the celebration of our school, and most of all, I also find imperfect people around me who are trying to grow a community.
If I was you, I would try supporting these men that give their energy, time, passion and love to your children ... using football as a tool to prepare them for life. Especially when your son is with the coach more than you. Get to know them, how you can help, get to know their families sitting next to you in the stands. I’m sorry if they made a play call you disagree with; they have quite a bit on their plate.
There are hundreds of opportunities as coaches' wives to choose a good attitude about whatever is coming up. It could be him arriving home later than you expected, an event he forgot to tell you about, an added scrimmage or picked up game, or finding out he has to work when you thought he had off that day. The scenarios are endless, but the opportunity is the same. What will your attitude be?
Could he do this job without my blessing? Yes. But, when I give him my blessing and fully 100% support him, does it make his job easier? Absolutely. And when his job is made easier, does he dedicate himself a little more? Stay at practice a little later? Have a little less weight on his shoulders? I sure hope so.
Have you ever driven past a big fancy turf field with shining new lights and your husband leans over to ask, “How would you feel about moving to Georgetown?” Or perhaps you were taken aback by a dinner conversation he struck up out of blue saying, “You know, there is this opening in Houston….” Just …
One thing I have learned is that when I trust and unite with my husband’s dreams the provision for my needs and dreams will not be left out.
My advice to a fellow coach’s wife who is going through a difficult season is to realize there is nothing you can do to change the outcome of your husband’s football games but love and support him and leave it in God's hands.
When my girls were younger, I drove myself crazy trying to do it all. Now, I'm able to let things go. You don't have to do it all. Be present and in the moment. My typical motto is, "It will get done..... Eventually."
Each week, “Friday Night Wives” recognizes a coach’s wife by asking her the same five questions. We go through lots of submissions to find entries we think are especially encouraging or insightful. We hope this gives our readers a chance to connect with others’ through their struggles and hardships, as well as learn from someone …
Make your home a place to re-charge and be honest. This football life will shape your schedule, your time, and your location, but it does not define you.
One of the most amazing treasures a coaching family receives from their community is people who welcome them with friendship. Being new in town is always stressful. Even if you move every few years (or more often), it’s never easy to be the new family.