You see, my husband is a high school football coach, and he’s been married to the game for a really, really, long time. They were a thing long before he and I were a thing. And when we started dating, I had to come to terms with the rules of engagement.
This is part of marriage. It’s not as if one of you is choosing to only be 20% or 50% or whatever percent. The percentage may be dictated by what’s going on with your job, with your children, or with your family.
But then the games stopped. Sports and this lifestyle came to a screeching halt. Suddenly, he was home all the time.
That said, a healthy sex life can look extremely different for different poeple. We heard from plenty of wives who are multiple-times-a-weekers. But, there are also plenty of couples who are once-a-weekers, once-a-monthers, or sex-less-marriagers (yep, that’s a thing).
It is easy to become frustrated with you when you haven’t been home for the 400th meltdown and for the 50th fight requiring a referee. It’s easy to not care about what you’ve been doing while I have been handling the home front, but I do truly care.
My kids aren’t leaving games wondering why their dad chooses this life. Football has been a part of their lives since birth. This is as natural and normal for them as going to school each day is. It’s just something we do.
My husband isn’t choosing football over us; we are choosing football with him. We are a football family.
Some of us are involved to extreme levels—doing team laundry, organizing fundraisers, or feeding the team every week. Others are content to be at games supporting the team and pitching in otherwise as needed. Neither way of doing it is right or wrong.
I see you when you can’t tear your eyes away from your phone
due to the twenty different conversations you’re having with players, parents, school officials.
I see the hurt in your eyes when the first word our one-year-old
son says to you is bye-bye because he’s so used to you leaving.
I see the base running handbooks discarded on the couch that
you pore over after we go to sleep.
Then there are nights when he rushes in the house as if he is on fire and asks if the kids are awake. When I say no his face drops and the disappointed is written all over him.
The less planning we need to do during the season, the easier life is for everyone. It doesn’t matter how busy our week is, my kids insist they need dinner every night! I’ve yet to convince them a bowl of popcorn and some apple slices is a well-balanced meal, so instead I’ve learned to keep a few things stashed in the freezer to avoid the drive-thru as often as possible.