Friendship, Journal

The Enneagram of Coaches’ Wives: Which Number are You?

Earlier this year, I was introduced to the Enneagram. When I took the test (10 times to be exact), I found out I was a 2. A strong 2.

It is literally me. To a T.

And I started thinking about what may define other people. Nobody has one true definition, but this helped me start to understand others even more.

So … what would The Enneagram of Coaches’ Wives look like? Every coach’s wife is different but there are definitely some strong, distinct personalities.

*Although these numbers are modeled after the enneagram numbers, they do not correspond with them.*

The Enneagram of Coaches’ Wives

1: The “Mentor

This group feels pulled to mentor other coaches’ wives throughout the season. They want to be seen as one who knows a lot about this life. They strive to grow and help others grow. They have a sense of mission. They advocate for other coaches’ wives. They are a leader. They are sometimes thought of as the “head” of something. They are strong in their purpose.

2. The “Please Let Me Help”

Whether it’s baking every dessert under the sun, holding someone’s baby during the game, helping clean up the field house, or wanting to host every coaches party or position group, The Please Let Me Help group thrives when given the opportunity to help or please others. This group worries about not being needed. They want to serve, they want to host, they want to help. Often, these individuals are looked to for consistency. People know that this individual will be there to help, bake, or care. Being called upon to help makes this group feel genuinely happy and loved.

3. The “Do It All”

This group wants to do it all. They are achievers and thrive when they feel successful. They have multiple roles and come across as doing them all effortlessly. They often looking towards monumental achievements like accolades, status symbols, and other visual aspects of success. These individuals love attention, encouragement, and affirmation for their successes. They are people of action and achievement. They are go-getters. This group worries about feeling worthless. They are ones you can turn to to get things done.

4. The “I’ll Let You Know”

This group of individuals are reserved. They worry about feeling vulnerable. These individuals enjoy expressing themselves but take time to open up to others. They may often feel uncomfortable being part of a larger group. They are drawn to one to two people and feel comfort when their chosen people are with them. They sometimes feel that they are different from others. If they are invited to events or activities, they may wait for their comfort person to invite them individually so they have more comfort in attending. Thus, the response, “I’ll let you know.” These individuals form a strong bond with a small group of people. They look to this small group for comfort and strength.

5. The “What’s Going on Around Here?”

This group is the questioners. They like to be informed. They like to know why things are the way they are. They like to find things out themselves and are researchers. They know a lot about the specific team they are a part of and are proud of it. If anyone has a question about the team, this group will answer it.

6. The “Pacer”

“The Pacer” is most dedicated to the status of the game. They are seen pacing back and forth, biting their nails, head in their hands. They are loyal to the team and to the game. They get anxious during games and often have superstitions. They want to feel secure. When the game is going their way, they feel confident and secure, but when it isn’t, they have strong emotional reactions. They are very loyal to the team, their friends, and others.

7. The “Woo Girl”

This group is very spirited. They have the shirts, the cowbells, the pom-poms, and the fun-loving cheerleader spirit. You will hear them cheering loud and proud on Friday nights. They often come across as scattered in their thoughts, and they love to keep busy. They are the ones that talk to anyone who is near them. They are optimistic—looking on the sunny side of the game. When something negative happens, they say, “That’s okay. Keep trying! We can do this!” They need a friend to be the sound, reasoning body in decisions. They are the cheerleaders of life—always fun to be around and always the life of the party.

8. The “Veteran”

This group has been around the block when it comes to this life. From the outside, these individuals are strong and self-confident. They have been a coach’s wife for years…like many, many years. They have lots of experiences. They leave their mark everywhere they go. They have connections and know many people. If you need something, they will have a friend of a friend of a friend who can help you out. They often will not give in to pressure to change their thinking.

9. The “Prayer Partner”

This group is known for their spiritual beliefs. They are peaceful and willing to listen. This group could coincide with any other grouping. They seek spiritual guidance in all situations and find peace in the power of prayer. Others come to them to feel calm. They are grounded and enjoy connecting with others. These individuals do not want to cause conflict. They want to focus on others and learn more about them. They are excellent partners for every number as they are supportive and encouraging.

Which number are you? Which number are the other wives on your staff?

I’ve been blessed to have friendships with someone in each number. It’s important to have a wide variety of friends who surround you and support you. You are not defined by your number, but it sure is a conversation starter!

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