Coaches’ wives are a different breed, you can read articles, and listen to stories, but until you actually have walked in our shoes you will never understand the stress that comes with being a coach’s family. Sports wives all over the world are stretching themselves thin due to the demanding work this career calls for. If you’re a mom on top of being a coach’s wife, well GOD BLESS YOU.
We know you are often exhausted and ready to hand those kids off to anyone with open arms. As if the bedtime routines, the mounds of laundry, and thinking of and cooking dinner weren’t enough. Dad isn’t around so your workload has definitely grown. Going to activities, attending school functions, or even church events without a spouse brings its own set of struggles.
Let’s not even begin to talk about the chaos that game day brings. Packing up the house, getting a spot in the bleachers, and having plenty of toys and snacks to keep the kids entertained. Only to find out right when you get to the game they are only interested in running up and down the bleachers.
As coaches’ wives and mothers, we’ve all had the feeling of not being able to take much more. The pure exhaustion from just trying to finish everyday tasks. And of course, there’s the loneliness that can creep up when you aren’t interacting with anyone other than your offspring.
I get it. I have been there so many times, most weeks of the season actually! But as time passes there is one thing I have learned. I am a much better mother and wife when I take time to take care of myself.
There are a lot of compromises in life, so I am not talking about getting to spend a full day binge-watching Netflix. I’m suggesting choosing care more along the lines of one episode of the bachelor on Monday evenings.
Self-care is so important for us to be our absolute best, therefore I have put together a list of self-care suggestions for coaches’ wives. My rule of thumb is to do one thing for myself per day.
I know some of you are probably like wowzah every day I have to do something for myself? The answer is yes!
But if you just can’t fathom that, I encourage you to start with a few days a week. Remember when mama is happy, everyone is happy! I promise to provide practical activities for you. This list is for any coach’s wife seeking a more balanced life. I hope you find something helpful that you can incorporate into your own routine.
Helpful Self-Care ideas
- Take a bubble bath. Maybe it’s at night or early in the morning, regardless of time, a bubble bath is a sure way to feel fresh and rejuvenated.
- Make time to work out. This is my GO TO! Look I know it’s harder than it seems, and I know there are a million excuses as to why this can’t be possible. I for one have visited all of those excuses until I put my foot down and said look its my time for me. I particularly like morning workouts while the house is asleep. After school my coach has obligations and with 2 kiddos this is all that can work. What happens when there is a morning practice for whatever reason? Guess what… I was up at 3:45 AM instead of 4:30 today for this exact reason. But I found a way and not an excuse. Invest in yourself so you are able to be the best wife possible.
- Watch a show even if that means your kids need a little more screen time to stay occupied so you get your show in this evening, it is gonna be alright.
- Take an OUTDOOR walk. There is something instantly uplifting about being outdoors and moving your body. Even if that means you are outside late in the evening. Pro tip: if it’s 9 pm and you’re headed out the door wear bright colors and turn your cell phone flashlight on while you walk. Be safe!
- Bake something and no I don’t mean for the football team! For your household, and I hope you are the first one to enjoy your treat.
- Declutter a space or organize a closet. Personally, this one causes me anxiety. BUT there are people out there who find enjoyment in this and the more organized the space the less stress on Mama.
- Read– no I don’t mean on your smartphone or social media, a real-life book! Even if this is 10 minutes a night before bed. Something is better than nothing.
- Get ready for the day– do your makeup, get fancy, and enjoy the time being by yourself. Sometimes we have to wake up bright and early, but being “put together” is a sure way to make you feel productive.
- Take a night off of cooking and household chores. I’m just going to say it, it’s okay to go through the drive thru. No cooking and no dishes. Chances are the kids will be stoked, too.
- Eat a healthy meal. We all know what the season can do to our diet plans. Strive to eat at least one nutrient-dense meal per day filled with whole foods.
- Coffee. We know coaches’ wives can never have enough. But I don’t mean just drink coffee, I mean enjoy a cup of coffee. Maybe it’s early before the rest of the house is awake maybe it’s on the porch while the kids are playing in the yard, or maybe it’s as your putting on your makeup. Savor every sip.
- Take some time away from social media. A short 24-hour detox once per month/week can be good for the soul.
- Meal prep. I don’t know about you ladies, but I have major satisfaction knowing that my work is done for the week after spending a Sunday afternoon cooking.
- Plant flowers. I struggle to keep my mums alive during the season, but the planting process always takes my mind away from life.
- Map out your week. Invest in a planner if you have not already. Right down your plans, your meals, and your one activity of self-care a day. STICK TO IT!
- Treat yourself to a manicure or pedicure. We aren’t all fortunate enough to have this time. This fall my pedis occur while I lock myself in the bathroom and paint my toes as fast as I can. But hey, it’s 5 minutes of me time. And thank goodness here in MO we don’t wear flip-flops in fall.
- Pick-up every night before bed. I know this is no fun, but you are instantly in a better mood when you wake up to a clean house. Personally, I tackle the kitchen and hubby picks up the toys.
- Have a conversation with another adult before bed. If you can make time to chat with your husband before closing your eyes, DO IT. If you can’t call a parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle, or friend. Make the most of an opportunity to catch up with someone you love.
- Schedule in some girl time. Hire a babysitter if you need, get with your girlfriends, and go do something. Dinner, a movie, a walk, etc. Put it on the calendar and let your husband know that you will need his assistance to make it happen. If all other options are impossible, have your friend over, tell her to bring her kids and a bottle of wine. Moms hang and kids play. This is always good for the soul!
- My very last recommendation is to wake up every day and say 3 things you’re grateful for. Starting our day with feeling grateful just sends positive vibes to our brains. Be the best mom and coach’s wife you can be, the rest will take care of itself.
XOXO- From a coach’s wife who has had way too many breakdowns herself!