Family, Journal, Marriage

We’re Heading Into Our Second Sport, and I’m Calling Out an SOS.

“The days are long, but the years are short.”

Boy are they ever.

It’s nights like tonight that make it seem as though I will never make it through.

Coach was away at his preseason practice and I was left to do our normal Monday routine. Home. Homework. Dinner. Unwind. Bed. Oh, there was that workout that never happened, too. Whether it be the approaching full moon or something aligned in the stars . . . that makes every child have a come apart. It seemed like as soon as I walked through the door, they fell apart.
I reserve these calls for help only for special occasions. Tonight was one of those nights.

Baby on hip, tears streaming down, I kept it cool. I always revert back to the quote that goes something along the lines of, “Try not to engage in their chaos.” This is why it had me in tears. Instead of yelling, the stress came streaming down my cheeks. I was giving it my all. The calming music, the dancing on the hip, the singing to the baby . . . nothing was working. After two and a half hours of a screaming baby (who never fusses) and three other littles who weren’t following any instructions (because who wants to follow those once you are home from school), I needed a sub. I sent out my SOS text. It was met with a call.

DH: “Hey, what’s going on?”
Me: “I don’t know. I’ve tried everything. Nothing is working. The baby keeps crying and I can’t calm her. How much longer do you have?”
DH: “Fifteen minutes. I have two assistants here. I’ll leave them after we break it down and I will be right home.”

We both say “good-bye” and hang up. Thirty minutes later, coach rescues me. I know he is under a lot of stress with the ending of football season (into the playoffs) and the week before official basketball season practice begins. The last thing he needs is to worry about the stresses of home while he is away, hard at work. But, he still puts us at the top of the list.

Now, in my immature days (let’s be honest, I’m still not as mature as I put on), I would have let him come home, handed him the baby, and left for an hour without communication. I would have left him guessing what I was thinking and feeling—the stress, the frustration, and the anger towards him, even if it was something out of his control. Even if he didn’t know what was going on at home.

But I have vowed to myself that this season will be different. My communication is going to be better. More open. Less accusing. More positive. Because our team can’t be top notch unless the two star players are in tip-top shape.

With the new season. Our first NEW season, we are going to start strong.

We may not have been as prepared as we thought we were. As parents, we are caught off guard again and again. But, parenthood chooses us every day, and not the other way around. No one is ever quite ready. Today was one of those days when my eyes were opened and heightened to the fact that of all the things we are juggling, this is one that needs our attention the most. It’s not a question of choice. It’s a presence, of love.

If they are going to pass on love, love that is seen and felt every day in our house, they need to see how strong Coach’s team is. In all of its highs and lows. To see that after God, we are his OG starting 5. And will always be his starting 5.

Coach. I’m ready to go back in.