During one of our early seasons that didn’t end with a good record, the Athletic Director told the entire coaching staff that they needed to “fix it” or they’d all be gone.
This was only our second season at this school, so it was difficult to embrace the “fix it” logic since my coach didn’t “break” anything.
During the off-season and the following competition season, the coaches did everything to make the necessary changes. The players did everything they needed to execute on the field.
But game after game, loss after loss, it was becoming clear that nothing was working. And at the end of that season, as we all watched our team lose to our bitter rivals, we felt the last nail hammered into the coffin.
It took over a month for the school to name a new head coach and then another couple of weeks for my coach to feel out the new guy (and for the new guy to feel out my coach). During that seemingly forever time period, I prayed consistently for God to “fix it.” We had just bought a house, I was secretly in the first trimester with our first child, and I was just starting to find my footing in this town.
I wanted a “good life,” and I thought the only way to have that was by getting my way. It was best for us to stay and continue on our current path from my perspective. But God didn’t fix it, at least not the way I wanted Him to. Instead, he set out to change my heart, not my circumstances.
We ended up taking a different job and moving. And for the first few years in that new town, I prayed for God to “fix it.”
I meant for God to give me the house and the friends as I had previously. I wanted it to be like before, but God was making it better.
I couldn’t have predicted all that was required to give me what I actually wanted or that it involved other places and new people. I was so sure that x, y, and z were the answers to my prayers that I wasn’t looking for a, b, and c, which were even better.
Over time, I’ve been able to watch God’s better plan unfold. I’ve learned that God often “fixes it” in unexpected and seemingly random ways. He hardly ever provides in ways that we think would be best. So now, I pray for the provision we need, trusting him, and being open to things that might not make sense.
I’m getting pretty good at recognizing God’s guidance and peace in the chaos. Of course, it doesn’t mean it’s been easy. It doesn’t mean it’s been without setbacks and roadblocks. But here’s what you need to know— ̵ in the midst of difficultly and stress, it is possible to feel at peace with your decisions and direction in this lifestyle.
I always assumed that I could be a great coach’s wife if, and only if, it was under the right circumstances. I thought that if I got my way and what I thought was best, this life would be so easy.
There will be plenty of times that things don’t go the way you want. Whether it’s a losing season, an unexpected staff change, an undeserving job rejection, or even a good job offer in a town you don’t want to live in, life changes happen when they happen, not when we plan them. Try to remember that it wasn’t actually broken if God doesn’t fix it. It was the way he meant for it to be.