When Your Roots are Damaged from Pulling Them Out Move After Move
As coaching wives, we continually tell ourselves and each other, “Grow where you are planted.”
We never know how long we will be at our current school and in our current community. We often hesitate to go too deep because we are very aware of the pain that is caused from ripping out an ingrained root system to move. And those roots are always a little damaged, even once they are integrated into their new area.
I had to tear out my deeply embedded root system last summer.
It was the type of system all us nomadic wives dream of.
I had an incredibly supportive church community that filled my soul and allowed me to pour the excess back into others.
I had friends from every aspect of our lives—my kids’ schools & activities, church, neighbors, my business and coach’s school—who were more like family. People I could count on in the good times and in the difficult ones that loved us and wanted only the best for us.
I was lucky enough to have all my kids at the same hospital. We had the same favorite spots and traditions for the better part of a decade. I actually even weighed the pros and cons of staying behind and letting coach move without us.
Honestly, it was only because I have seen God’s plan unfold in my life to reveal far greater things than I could possibly ever imagine that I agreed to pull my metaphorical roots from the ground.
Listening to a sermon from our new church made me realize I’ve been focusing on the wrong ground to replant. The pastor spoke of our roots being planted in God’s love, not in Earthly soil.
If you’re rooted in God’s love, you are drawing your nourishment from it. And you are making all your major decisions through that nourishment.
We can know that God is for us and He can be trusted. When not rooted in God’s love, the difficulties of life distract and disparage us.
That caught my attention, because even though this last transition was tough, it wasn’t as painful to put down my roots in our new place as it had been the previous times, and even in spite of having them grown so deeply.
As I looked back at the previous eight years at our old school, I realized that’s what God had been working on in me.
I realized that instead of just having one root that was cared for every Sunday morning at church, I had opened up my whole system to be covered in a layer of His love. He had been slowly nurturing the broken and damaged roots from previous painful extractions that were never quite able to be replanted and He was covering the others with His love and His promises.
If there is one thing I wish for everyone to realize, but especially my fellow coaches’ wives, it’s that our root system isn’t planted in the ground where our coach works or the town that we call home. It’s in God’s love.
And as the world tries to tear your roots out and leave you on unstable ground, whether it’s from a transition, a season cancellation, financial hardships or illness, I pray that you know and remember this. Your heart is going to draw nourishment from something. You are always looking to something to bolster you, to encourage you, to help you. May you filter the events of life through God’s love.
Jess Gilardi is a lacrosse coach’s wife who recently moved to Long Island when her husband became a head coach. She has three kids, ages 7, 6, and 3. She was a mental health therapist in the school system before becoming the full time chaos coordinator for the family (a.k.a. stay at home mom). She does manage to fit in a little work here and there. Outside of lacrosse and family, she loves Jesus, the Tracy Anderson Method, and empowering others. You can follow her crazy adventures on social media, Instagram @jessgilardi and Facebook as Jessica Gilardi.