Journal, Marriage

You Will Never Be the Perfect Coach’s Wife

If you’re like me (or at least the human part of me I keep trying to choke out) this season makes you question your awesomeness sometimes.
 
You show up to a game with a crying child, who honestly has NO business being out in public in his present state, only to sit down next to the most perfectly-behaved children who are completely content being up until midnight.
 
Or you invite a few of Coach’s players over for a Wednesday night pizza dinner, only to hear that another coach’s wife catered an entire meal for the whole team, including brownies, from scratch, when box brownies are the only brownies that exist in your life.
 
You aren’t the wife that always looks put-together.
 
You aren’t the wife whose kids always have adorable bows.
 
You aren’t the wife with the clean house.
 
You aren’t the wife who wakes up early to make her husband breakfast.
 
You’re the wife who makes pancakes for dinner three times a week, considers her “nice” leggings dressed up, and forgets to do thoughtful and sweet things because she’s too busy feeding the cat, paying the bills, and keeping the 3-year-old from taking his clothes off in public.
 
You are, at best, a very average coach’s wife.
 
And when you look around, you think you see A LOT of people doing this job better than you. You can think of at least two or three who are just flat-out nailing this gig.
 
Hear me. They’re not. And even if they are, that has no bearing on you.
 
Friend, YOU were created to be YOUR husband’s wife. You were created to serve HIM and be his source of support, not anyone else’s husband. You were created to love him well, and only YOU know how to love him well.
 
God equipped you with certain gifts, attributes, and skills to be your husband’s wife, to balance him out, to meet his needs. He did not give you these gifts to impress anyone or one-up anyone or show off to anyone, but to serve others well in His name. 
 
And maybe that means dressing up for practice. Or maybe that means just showing up looking like a hot mess so he can see the kids for a few minutes.
 
Maybe that means cooking a three-course meal. Or maybe that means going through the Whataburger drive thru on the way home from work so the kitchen is a little less dirty when he gets home.
Whatever it looks like, it won’t be perfect.
Because you will never be the perfect coach’s wife. 
 
And the beautiful thing about being a part of a community of wives is knowing that where your gifts are lacking, someone else will be there to fill your gaps. Praise God you don’t have to do it ALL! Praise God for providing other wives, wives who are good at other things, who can do those things you aren’t good at.
That’s the beauty of community. You don’t have to be perfect at it all; you just have to serve where the Lord has gifted you.
 
Don’t let the enemy steal your joy this season by planting insecurities or comparisons or envy. 
Just serve. Faithfully. Joyfully. Confidently. With YOUR gifts.
And be content with average. Nobody is expecting you to be perfect.
 
  1. Rita Braswell

    September 1, 2018 at 1:30 pm

    Thank you, Jordan, for this reflection. I definitely feel insufficient a lot in my husband’s new coaching job. I will use your advice and create a mantra of your words to sustain me this long football season.

  2. Jennifer

    September 9, 2018 at 3:57 pm

    Thank you for your words. Definitely feeling like I’ve lost myself in this crazy daily mess! But I know my purpose and role and this too shall pass! Working on being the best version of me in the moment.

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