My husband has coached for 6-7 years with a break for a year or 2. We have lived all over the state of Oklahoma. He coaches football, wrestling and track. I am a stay-at-home mom of 4 kids under the age of 8. I go to school full-time online and I work from home as well. Trying to finish my degree within the next year. We live in Jay, Oklahoma. We are the young couple in the group for our coaching family but that’s okay because I feel like we are old souls.
What is your favorite part of this lifestyle?
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The coaching family part and the constant belief that we can always do better or be better. My husband is very competitive. I also love that he takes his job not only seriously on the field, but off as well. He truly cares about the kids and has had relationships with players that span over many years. Most of his first kids to coach are now married and have kids, and it’s so nice to see them and for them to say, "Hey coach! You're the reason I got my head on straight or your support helped me more than you know." Also it’s always nice to hear them say, "Y’all ever wanna come back here?"
What is your LEAST favorite part of this lifestyle?
- Terrible parents. Terrible fans. Coaches' wives that don’t really care or want to do the lifestyle that make it worse on everyone else because they act like because they are miserable we should all be miserable.
- Wagon. Snacks. Pack N Plays. High school kids that are like your family so when you get to the game, they take your kids and show up at the end and you get to enjoy the game.
What is your go to concession stand order or must have snack?
- Woo, that’s a long list! Cotton candy. Hot dogs. Sprites. We usually bring water. Goldfish. Snack packs. One time I brought Chick-fil-A! Another time, the head coach's wife brought pizza and hid it in the coaches' room for us to have during the game.
- Going from head coach's wife to assistant again. Though we did go to a bigger school after his head job year, we had some things happen with the community and a fellow coach's wife that ultimately made us leave. The kids loved my husband. The community as a whole was toxic. It had been for a very long time, even though it had talent for days and kids that just wanted more. We set out to change the culture. We did that with the team. We had staff that were doing multiple duties. The superintendent and principal helped coach on top of their jobs. We had some volunteer coaches that were awesome. The situation that broke the camels back...we make it to playoffs. We are 1-9 on the season, I believe, so how we made it to playoffs? I have no clue. We are class A football. To start, the game I was going great- very back and forth. Then the wheels start to fall off towards the end. A fellow coach's wife who I thought was a friend starts yelling slurs at my husband for everyone to hear and see. I’m embarrassed and shocked and honestly very hurt. I keep mouth shut and go on. It was probably the worst thing I’ve even been witness to. After that, it really just made us think about whether it was worth us to stay. On top of that, during the whole season, I tried on multiple occasions to get the coaching family together. No one wanted too. They wouldn’t even sit with us at games. No one would. They wouldn’t even let there kids play with my kids because my husband was the head coach. I didn’t go to any games that season.
What is one thing you would go back and tell your younger self?
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To not be so hard on myself and to get out there and be more involved!
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