Dear Mama & Coach's Wife,
You are doing one of the hardest things you have ever done in the most demanding season of your life with the least amount of sleep you have ever had.
I just want to say that out loud before we go any further. Because nobody says it enough.
Nobody looks at the woman with the baby on her hip and the toddler pulling at her shirt in the stadium parking lot and says that out loud to her. They ask how the baby is sleeping. They say, “Enjoy every moment.” They hand back the toddler and move on.
Nobody says what I am going to say to you right now: You are not failing. You are doing something extraordinary.
I know what this season feels like. I know what it is to wake up before the sun because babies do not care about what time you went to bed.
I know what it is to pack a diaper bag that weighs more than your toddler and arrive at the game with spit-up on your shirt before you even find your seat.
I know what it is to watch your husband walk out the door at six in the morning and not come home until after bedtime and to do it again tomorrow and the day after that.
I know what it is to love your life and be overwhelmed by it at the exact same moment.
Both things are allowed to be true. You do not have to choose.
Here is what I need you to hear today. Your capacity has changed. That is not weakness. That is reality. The woman you were before babies could show up to every game with her hair done and her attitude intact. You are not that woman right now. You are a woman who grew a human being and is keeping that human being alive while also keeping the rest of her life running without her primary support person home most of the time. That woman deserves more credit than she is giving herself.
In this season, the isolation is real. Not just the tired. The tired is real too. But the isolation of being a new or young mom in a coaching family is something that does not get named enough.
Your husband is gone. Getting out of the house with small children requires what feels like military-level planning. So you stay home a lot. And then you stay home again some more. And slowly the walls get closer.
Leave the house anyway. Imperfectly. With the messy hair and the diaper bag that is held together with hope. The fresh air will do something for you that staying home in a cleaner outfit cannot. Find your people. One imperfect connection is worth more than no connection at all.
Show up even when you are not at your best. Your people do not need your best. They just need you. One more thing before I let you go. What you are doing right now is not a pause in your real life. It is your real life. The building of a family, the forming of a marriage that survives hard seasons, the raising of children who will someday know exactly what sacrifice and love and commitment look like because they watched you live it. This is as real as it gets.
God knew what He was doing when He put you here. He knew this season would be hard. But He also knows how he plans to use it to shape you into a stronger, more Godly version of yourself. You are doing God's work right now, and he will help you through it.
Keep going; you are doing a great job, mama.
With love,
Friday Night Wives
If this blog resonated with you, check out our newest digital download- Babies On the Sideline: A Printable Guide for the Coach's Wife Chasing Littles this Season.
***This space is about supporting the women behind the sidelines. We’ve created a few favorite wear-on-repeat pieces inspired by this life, just in case you want to check them out!***