What is a coach's wife?
I get asked this question a lot, mostly in good fun. While we are all very different and unique, we do share many similarities. No matter the level, our husband’s title, the sport, or our location, the sacrifices and scenarios we find ourselves in tend to force us to develop specific characteristics to survive and thrive in this role. We probably didn’t all start off like this, but this lifestyle molded us this way- for better or worse.
Because they are often used for comedic effect, to tell a secret, or to give supplemental information (all of which apply to this scenario), I decided to answer the question with an acrostic poem. Little kids often use this style to help remember something. It may make it easy enough for others who question you to understand.
But my real hope is that when you find yourself down and out from a loss, a rough season, a mean comment from a fan, a job rejection, or just from being burnt out, you might remember even one of these letters that most undoubtedly describes who you are and claim it!
C is for caring, maybe a little too much. She sees it all and will passionately defend her man and his team.
O is for optimistic. She doesn’t stop cheering until the clock strikes zero. And even then, she believes “we’ll get them next time.”
A is for adaptable. She knows nothing is guaranteed, whether that’s coach getting home when he claims or staying around this town for another year. She remains ready and able to go with the flow.
C is for civil. She is polite and cordial. Even if you cross her, she’ll just bless your heart or give you the side eye.
H is for heart, as in the heart of the family. She’s the one that manages all the details and plans all the things. Without her, you’d all be eating cereal for every meal, late to everything, and forced into a wardrobe of khakis and sports tees.
‘ This represents possession, but not that we are his. We are His. And we proceed with our platform with that in mind.
S is for solid. You can’t build a foundation on shaky ground. She is there through it all and for it all.
W is for worldly, as in she’s been a lot of places. This lifestyle will introduce her to all types of people and places, and that makes her all the better.
I is for independent. She has no choice but to learn how to do things on her own. Whether that’s mowing the grass, attending an event, fixing a leak, or handling a meltdown, she’s got this.
F is for faithful and forgiving. (I couldn’t pick just one.) She’ll be by your side, win or lose, season after season. And she will (eventually) stop holding it against you that you had to miss all those birthdays and important events because you were working.
E is for encouraging. She is your biggest cheerleader and will support you through thick and thin. She will help you believe that you can literally do anything, whether it’s coming back from an insurmountable point deficit or just drinking more water.
This is just scratching the surface when it comes to describing a coach’s wife. Honestly, I have realized that words will never do our role justice. But it never hurts to have a cheeky response when people eventually ask us this question. And it definitely reminds you of special information you may have forgotten about yourself.
Jess Gilardi is a lacrosse coach’s wife living on the East Coast. They have three young kids and have been living this life since 2004. She was a mental health therapist in the school system before becoming the full time chaos coordinator for the family (a.k.a. stay-at-home mom). Jess started writing, hoping that by sharing her stories and lessons learned, she might help others learn “the easy way.”
