'It's supposed to be hard. That's the point; it's why we play.'
I have sat behind our bench for 25 years and never heard coach say this until this year. We had just had a five-game losing streak and were playing a ranked team. We were leaving everything on the floor but the players were tired in the huddle.
"It's supposed to be hard."
I may have been as taken back as the players. Yes, it's supposed to be hard, but don't we all just want a break to go our way?
Wouldn't it be great if the other team turned over the ball, and we scored a few times and caught our breath? At that moment, it hit me, "Choose your hard."
I had just been having a pity party. A losing streak is hard, having a parent with dementia is hard, hearing parents demean their kids after a game is hard, having a child move 19 hours away is hard, my job is hard, running the household is hard. But it's supposed to be hard.
BUT I choose my hard.
Marriage is Hard. Divorce is Hard
Choose your Hard.
Financial stability is hard. Debt is Hard.
Choose your Hard.
Losing weight is hard. Being fit is Hard.
Choose your Hard.
Winning is hard. Losing is Hard.
Choose your Hard.
The list could go on and on for pages. I think being a coach's wife is incredibly hard. Long nights, meals alone, being a "single" mom, cleaning... I choose hard because the rewards outweigh the hard.
I recently found this definition of "choose your hard." "Choose your hard" emphasizes taking proactive control of your life by consciously selecting the challenges you face rather than passively accepting whatever difficulties arise. This means focusing on the kind of hard that aligns with your values and goals, leading to greater agency and a more fulfilling life.
It really puts into focus looking at the "hard" in life (the very long list) and deciding what is within our control and what aligns with our values. What's worth the challenge? What will give significance to our lives and help us leave a greater legacy?
Pick one life choice, then be efficient, strategic, and intentional. It could be meal planning, scheduling date night, texting a friend once a week, 10 minutes a day reading a devotional, or whatever helps you do the "hard" more effectively.
"If it were easy, everyone would do it." We ask teenagers to pick the "hard" every day at practice. They could take the "easy" way out but they choose to run, sweat, fail, succeed…
God doesn't give us patience; he gives us opportunities to be patient. God won't give us anything "hard" we can't handle with Him by our side.