Dear Coach's Wife: A Love Letter From God

Dear Coach's Wife: A Love Letter From God

Dear Coach’s Wife,

I know that you are questioning the life of a coach’s wife. You think that you aren’t strong enough, you can’t be flexible with your plans, and that there is no purpose in the pain and hardship. But please trust me. You are capable of all those things and more. And the difficulties, well, I know they are unpleasant. Trust Me when I say it hurts Me to watch you struggle.

But, it is what it will take to mold you into the you that I designed you to be. I just have to put you in situations to bring it out. And the coaching lifestyle is the best way to do it. And your husband is the best person to walk alongside you as it happens.

I know you both had your own plans for your lives, but neither of you could have ever foreseen your need for one another. He will bring you closer to being flexible and spontaneous. He’ll help you be resilient and independent. And you, my dear, will help him focus. You will help him learn to prioritize something other than work and be the foundation on which he can rely while he’s doing what I need him to do. Most importantly, you will help him stay close to me so that he can be an example of servant leadership for so many. With your independent spirit, I know you wouldn’t have reached this conclusion without my nudging.

But without the other, you two could never reach your full potential.

I know you don’t understand why that school, that other coach, that Athletic Director, that parent, the media, etc. treated him the way that they did. But, it was the only way I could soften your heart to the potential of moving. You and I both know that you would have stayed in one place forever otherwise. But just wait until you see all the places I will take you and all the incredible people you will meet along the way who will change you. And most importantly, who YOU will change for the better.

I know that you can’t envision it now, but I have plans for you, big plans.

You will go through hard times, even periods that seem unrelenting. But from those, you will do great things. From those, you will become strong and resilient. From those, you will help so many people. You will inspire them to go on and do great things during their hard times too.

I know this life is unpredictable. The team is doing well, and it causes you to move. The team is not doing well, forcing you to move again. You spend months wondering and worrying about how things are going to go. You wait for the consequences of other people's actions to trickle down and affect you.

During the waiting periods, when you aren't sure if you will stay or go, I promise to whisper to you. Pay attention. I hope you stay open to hearing My voice when making these decisions. I hope you don’t get clouded by your desire to stay and coach by his desire to move up. Wait to hear from Me, and I promise your path will be the least bumpy as possible.

I’d say enjoy the rest of the season, but I’m sending something your way. It is the next step in taking you to where you are meant to be.

It won’t go as you expect, but it will go exactly as you need. I hope you always remember that. I only want the best for you.

When the darkness sets in, and you don’t know how to take the next step, just promise Me that you will listen for My voice. I will always be there to guide you toward the light, if only you trust Me.

Love unconditionally,

Your Heavenly Father


Jess Gilardi is a lacrosse coach’s wife living on the East Coast. They have three young kids and have been living this life since 2004. She was a mental health therapist in the school system before becoming the full time chaos coordinator for the family (a.k.a. stay-at-home mom). Jess started writing, hoping that by sharing her stories and lessons learned, she might help others learn “the easy way.”
Back to blog