It Will Happen

It Will Happen

It's going to happen, all the things, when he can't answer his phone. The water heater will go out on the night of a road game. The school will call with your child having a medical emergency just after the bus leaves. Your college son will be in a car accident during a team meeting.

Here's what I know. It will happen, and he trusts you. Coaches marry smart, intelligent women that they trust. We are the head coaches of our families when they can't be physically present.

  • Learn how to turn the water valve off or know someone to call at 10:00 pm to walk you through it. 
  • Have an emergency contact for your kids that understands the coaching life. 
  • Meet the neighbors. At some point, you may literally show up at their door with a two-year-old in your arms and hand them off with little explanation. Or when you call, they run over because you can't get the sprinklers turned off.

We didn't have family around to help, but we built a family. 

Get to know other coaches' wives and/or teacher friends. I'm blessed that no matter what, my parents answered my calls even though they couldn't be present to help.

Being a coach's wife takes many contacts in your phone–plumbers, doctors, friends, handymen, neighbors, mechanics. I'm in charge of "all the things" during the season, which is November-May. I take care of doctor's appointments, haircuts, clothes for last-minute concerts, snacks, electricians, oil changes, etc….But he trusts me to handle it and gives me grace to screw up.

Then, I hand over the reins during the off-season. He does all the back-to-school dentist/eye appointments, school physicals, lawn care, and grilling, and he makes sure I schedule plenty of girl nights.

We have one "it gives me peace" expense. Mine is AAA roadside assistance. It's been used more times than I like to admit, but it kept the kids and me safe. A bonus is having an amazing insurance agent for your home/car. We also have an emoji that we send to say, "All good, love you," which saves time and provides comfort.
Create your own trade-offs. It's a partnership of love.
When our son called and had been in an accident, my coach never questioned if we filed insurance, if we filled out the reports, or how much it would cost. He simply said, "Is he ok?" and "Thanks for getting to him fast." Then, he was by our side as soon as he could.

We laughed (after I cried) about the water heater. He said, "I wouldn't have known what type to buy either."

The day we found out our son had a heart condition, early in the season, with a junior on the team, never once did I worry he wouldn't be there for appointments. Coaches know when it matters. Those appointments mattered, and the assistant coaches had our backs.

Go forth knowing you are not alone; other wives have your back, and your coach does, too. It's why he chose you.

Fill that rolodex! (that's iPhone contacts for those who haven't been doing this for 24 years)

PS: Christmas/Birthday tip- send them links to what you want for Christmas, and add the coupon code! My hubby ships my gifts to his school. Sneaky guy:)
PSS: It's ok if his Student teaching assistant helps address Christmas cards or wraps his gifts for you.


Renae is the wife of a High School Head basketball coach and assistant golf coach in Nebraska.  This summer we celebrate 25 years! My love is being a boy-mom and helping others strive to be the best version of themselves. Through joys and battles my hubby coached our oldest and is coaching our youngest now. I’m a Training Specialist and Gallup Certified Strengths coach for a local hospital!
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