Lean On Me

Lean On Me

“I will probably lean on you until I get my feet on the ground.”

A coach’s wife of a different sport said this to me as I helped her navigate moving to our school.

“Lean on me as long as you need to,” was my reply.

It might be hard for most people to understand why I’d be willing to help someone without hesitation when I’ve never even heard her voice before. We’ve communicated entirely by text. And the only reason I know what she looks like is from the press release announcing her husband’s hiring.

But just because I’ve never met her doesn’t mean I don’t know her. I was her once (really multiple times). And I might very well be her again.

I don’t say this because I want positive feedback. And I don’t follow through with the words in action because I want to insert myself into other people’s situations.

But, there have been plenty of times when my legs were knocked out from under me, thanks to this industry. I was too proud or scared or stupid (probably all of the above) to lean on any one of my available options.

However, after a while of trying to do it on my own, I realized even the lightest of leans on other people would bring the hectic, uncertain, and challenging aspects of this life to a manageable level.

I just want to do my best to minimize all of those barriers for the ones in the process of finding their footing.

I am just like you, as well. My husband was at the start of his season when I was connected with this new wife. I have three kids who are in a thousand activities, and I am juggling one million things. But it doesn’t take much effort, and it didn’t cause me to drop any of those balls to text her recommendations for areas to live, pediatricians to look into, or just give her words of reassurance that this is, in fact, a great place to be moving to.

I know I probably don’t have to remind you, but what makes a coach’s wife unique is her ability to encourage and support others, usually an entire team’s worth of others.

So, if you’re at a place in your journey where you are strong enough, let her lean on you while she needs it. With the way this industry works, I am sure soon enough that you will need to find someone to lean on.

And what you put out into the world usually has a way of returning to you.

And if you are at a time in your journey where your legs are weak, shaky and about to give way, do not be afraid, ashamed or hesitant to look for a shoulder.

I promise you that you will be strong enough to return the favor before you know it. 

Jess Gilardi is a lacrosse coach’s wife living on the East Coast. They have three young kids and have been living this life since 2004. She was a mental health therapist in the school system before becoming the full time chaos coordinator for the family (a.k.a. stay-at-home mom). Jess started writing, hoping that by sharing her stories and lessons learned, she might help others learn “the easy way.”
Back to blog